The Evil Family

quinque

As I sat in the Church, I was very much in doubt about my faith. I could not remember when I asked myself if my faith in Satan was wrong. Statistically, everyone else believed in God. They could have understood things that I never did. I must admit that there was a nice atmosphere in the small chapel. It was quiet and peaceful. I was half hoping one of the statues would speak with me and tell me what was right and what was wrong. This did not happen. There was only silence. Then I thought that it was me that was right and everyone else that was wrong. God was silent and did not care. If he did care, I would not be in this place and be told my parents were too evil to take care of me. It was important that I did not let my parents down and allowed this place to convert me.

When I went back to the room, Kate was speaking as much as she usually did. She still wanted me to be her friend. I opened up and told her about Ethan. Kate heard about how much it hurt that he no longer wanted to be friends. The fact was that I was afraid of making new friends. I did not want to be hurt and besides that, I hoped that I will not stay here for a long time. Kate just shrugged her shoulders and told me that no one at the child's home hated me or disliked me. She knew that I missed my family, but it achieved nothing feeling sorry for myself. Some children here have been through hell and this would affect them for the rest of their lives.

The court hearing was coming up. My parents were not allowed to visit me. I did not even have a picture of them! The hearing would decide if I was allowed to go home. I wanted to testify in court. In this way, I could tell the judge how good my parents were. It was a shock for me that I was not even allowed to do this. My testimony was done on video that would be shown at the hearing. The lawyers were very mean and deceiving in ways. They did not want me to say anything positive. It was as if they wanted me to admit that I experienced the worse things possible and my parents were just evil demons. Every time I gave an answer, they tried to twist it around and make it look as if it was something bad. When the video testimony was over, I was exhausted and tired. There was also a feeling of guilt as I felt like I let my parents down.

Kate tried to console me afterwards. She said she missed her mother so much. Her mom was a drug addict and drank too much. Kate was not allowed to live with her mother. The sad thing was that her mother was allowed to visit Kate. It was sad because Kate would look forward to the visit and then her mom would not even show up. Kate was sure that her mom loved her, but she felt sad that her mom loved drugs and alcohol more. She told me that she was not the worse off at Saint Catherine's. It made my stomach churn as she told me why some others were removed from their families. I had problems, but nothing compared to some others.

I stayed in my room. Since I came here, I have been having so much self-pity and did not think of others and what they were going through. This made me ashamed of myself. It also made me think that maybe I should get to know the others better and be better friends with them. I started by telling Kate that we could be friends and maybe she would introduce me to the others. Time went by quicker and I was in a better mood when I started hanging with the others. I do not know if they considered me a friend, but they were nice. This in itself was nothing that I experienced much before.

Sister Mary told me that she heard from the court. The judge made a decision. I was not allowed to live with my parents. The judge thought as Satanists, they were too evil and were brainwashing me and had a bad influence. He even said that I looked sad in the video that was played in court. Did he not understand that if this was the case, it had nothing to do with my parents? It was because I could not be with them. Sister Mary told me that she testified at the hearing. She said my parents were atheists and she could see no signs of any brainwashing or abuse. Still, the judge did not listen to her. This was because I admitted that I believed in Satan. He did not even want my parents to visit me. Sister Mary told me that she convinced the judge that my parents should be able to visit me.