𝑪𝑶𝑨𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮 • 𝙾𝙱𝚇 𝚘𝚗𝚎-𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚝𝚜 & 𝚜𝚖𝚞𝚝

"I cant"

Pairing: jj maybank x fem!reader

Summary: jj wants more from your relationship but you can't give it to him because of your past relationship with Rafe.

Warning: mention of emotion, mental, physical abuse.

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"Y/n!"

Tears fled from your eyes as you heard Jj call for you. You didn't respond. You couldn't.

Jj wanted more from you. He wanted you by his side but you couldn't fathom being with anyone else but rafe- not because you loved him. No. Because you feared him.

You heard fast paced foot steps behind you until you felt a light grip on your arm before Jj was in front of you.

"I don't understand what else i need to do for you to believe that the only person i want is you.." Jj voiced was filled with sorrow before he dropped his arms.

You looked up at his as he looked away. "You don't understand. It's not you Jj it's me."

Jj shook his head a confused smirk appearing across his lips. "Sticking with the classic- "it's not me it's you" bit y/n? really." He crossed his arms .

You could only look up at him with blank thoughts. You hadn't told him everything that happened between you and Rafe.

Everyone on the island was either scared of Rafe or respected him- but the pogues- no the pogues hated him. When you first met Jj he couldn't look past your relationship with Rafe.

"Can't you see that i'm hurting too?"

Jj frustratingly took his hat off and sighed slamming his hat on the ground. "Fuck you y/n!"

You stopped you heart dropping down with his hat on the ground.

"You think you're the only one dealing with shit!"

You could hear Jj's frustration grow as his breathing fastened. "Do you know how many times I wanted to pound Rafe's face into the ground after I heard about what ha-"

"Shut up Jj.." You whispered quietly hoping he would stop but he didn't.

"How can someone get away with that y/n?"

"Jj.. stop" You begged.

"No you know what- it doesn't matter because Wards got everyone in this shitty town wrapped around his god damn finger! Even your own dad didn't-"

At that moment.. the moment Jj spoke those words you flinched.

"JJ HE DOESNT KNOW!" You lifted your head face to face with Jj now not scared, but angry. Jj stopped talking his mouth closed shut.

You could tell just by looking at him he was looking for the right words to say but that didnt matter. The damage his words caused had already been done.

"You think you know everything.. but you dont! You're the only person I told about that night!" You felt you eyes start to fill as your lips began to shiver. Sadness for the idea that he believed no one was on your side.

"I am scared Jj.."

Your head dropped and you gave in. The tear began to roll down your cheeks ass Jj embraced you. He didn't talk but you could tell he wanted to.

Jjs grip got tighter as you legs got weaker and you started to fall but that only caused you to be closer to the blonde boy.

He held you there for as long as you needed. The beat of his racing heart crashing into your ears like tides waves.

"I'm so sorry.." Jj finally spoke his voice shaky and quiet. He didn't say anything else. He didn't have time. In that moment you felt safe. You felt secure.

You felt at home.

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594 words