I Choose You

CHAPTER 9

Understanding  feelings 

"I can't believe all of this was happening and you did not tell me. I'm hurt," Amber said as Allison told her everything about Benjamin knocking at her window, the lake, and the dinner with her dad. 

Allison laughed, "Perhaps because you would go babbling it all to Samantha and Michael," Allison pointed out. Amber giggled on the other end. "I won't this time. I can see a lot is going on so this will be your story to tell. My lips are sealed," Amber said. 

"My dad came out at left field on me. I did not realize he was going to freak out over this," Allison said. "Allison, you are his baby. All that he has left. When boys are in the picture parents act differently. You are growing up and I think your Dad is not ready to let go," Amber pointed out. 

"But I will soon be out on my own. He can't control my life after I leave" Allison said. "Allison, you are as much to blame. You made your Dad believe your life was so perfect. You never mentioned the bullying and you refuse to go out over the years sometimes so he would not get so attached," Amber explained. "You never lived and simply obeyed all the rules. Now that you are standing up is awkward and weird for him and different for you. I think your dad knows that. Right now you are feeling all guilty for feeling anything for this boy because you don't want to disappoint your father," Amber said.

"You think you know me so well," Allison said. "Pretty much I do," Amber teased. Allison sighed realizing Amber was correct.

"Now to the juicy details. How was the picnic at the lake? How do you really feel about Benjamin?" Amber asked.

"I don't know. He is handsome and funny," Allison smiled. "He is sweet and considerate. Perhaps, he's growing on me," Allison admitted. 

"OMG, yes, my friend is coming out of her shell and finally developing some form of social life," Amber declared cheerfully.

"Yeah, but it does not matter now. It's complicated because my Dad is not on board," Allison sighed.

"Allison, you believe in the power of prayer. Let's see how everything goes in the coming weeks. You and your dad love each other. Things are eventually going to blow over. But don't chicken out now that you are finally being bold and spontaneous," Amber laughed. 

"Don't forget we are going shopping this weekend," Allison reminded her.

"Okay, where is Allison, and what have you done with her? I can't wait to spend the day with you," Amber beamed.

"I am also excited," Allison admitted.  "You are going to look amazing!" Amber said intrigued by her latest makeover project. "Benjamin is going to be at a lost for words when he sees you," Amber explained.

"Amber, nothing extravagant. Just something nice and natural," Allison warned hoping Amber would not get carried away.

"Trust me Allison Sinclair is about to turn heads," Amber paced her room enthusiastically. 

"What have I got myself into?" Allison laughed. "Tomorrow Cinderella," Amber said.

"Goodbye," Allison smiled hanging up the phone. She dialed Benjamin nervously unsure of what she was going to say to him.

Don't push her away

Anna Morrison listened carefully to Reverend Sinclair talked about his concern in regard to Allison. She always saw Allison as a beautiful and respectful young lady who stayed closely under her father's wing. 

She and Reverend Sinclair had only started dating five months ago and were getting ready to tell Allison about their relationship.

"Bradley, Allison is not a little girl. She will be eighteen soon. You have to allow her to fly and grow for herself. She will be facing the world soon. She does not have to be so sheltered and restricted. When you deny her from seeing this boy you may push her to see him in secret and she may not trust you. Your relationship with her is open and beautiful. Don't ruin it," Anna encouraged.

"Anna, she does not need to be interested in any boy right now. I just want what's best for her," he admitted.

"When is the right time? She never dated before. She is a young lady and it is natural she will find a boy she likes or who likes her. You are dating and you have not told her yet. Is it okay for her to be alone and for you to find happiness?" Anna asked. 

"Allison was raised well. You have to allow her to stand on her own two feet and make decisions regarding all you have taught her," Anna suggested.

"I know you are right. But she is everything to me and I don't want her getting hurt," he said protectively. 

"Of course, you don't.  But she has to come into her own and discover who she is and what she wants. Allow her to be the Allison God has made her to be," Anna stated.

Bradley sighed realizing she was right. They said their goodbyes on the phone as he prayed to God for direction. 

The call

Benjamin listened attentively to Allison's concerns she raised after she called. How could he tell her how he really felt about her? He was happy she called indicating they were connecting.  At this point, he would do anything to have her in his life. Allison meant everything to him and he never felt this strongly about a girl before. 

"I am so sorry your father thinks I am not good enough for you. But I am not going anywhere, Allison. You are stuck with me and I promise I will have a heart-to-heart conversation with your Dad real soon," Benjamin explained. 

Allison smiled and said, " I haven't agreed to date you. We will both be in college pretty soon. Should we really start something new? You will be free to date who you want in a matter of months. Why go through all of this?" Allison asked still wondering why he was so into her. 

"Allison Sinclair, do you believe that I genuinely like you? It's hard to explain but I am drawn to you. The heart wants what the heart wants. Your sweet smile, beautiful brown eyes, the way you bite your lips unaware that you are so cute, and how it sends me crazy wanting to kiss you, your intelligence, introverted nature, natural looks, and ability to hide your beauty because you do not want to come out of your comfort zone. At this moment, I don't even know if I am even capable of walking away when I yearn to see you more and more every day," he continued.

Allison was quiet. This boy sure has a way with words, she thought. He left her completely in awe of how he would depict her and express his feelings about her at the same time. She could not help but be intrigued by every moment she spent with him for him. 

"I have to talk with my Dad. I am not comfortable dating behind his back," Allison said. 

"So..... does it mean that you are agreeing to date me?" Benjamin asked holding on to her every word. "Maybe, just a little bit. Perhaps," you're growing on me," Allison laughed.

"Ugh...... throw me a bone," Benjamin laughed playfully. Allison giggled at his playfulness.

"When can I see you again?" he asked his tone becoming more serious. "At school, at church, at the library, in class, around," Allison said wondering if he was getting the message.

"Not good enough," he said softly. Allison started to play with the seam in her shirt. "Well, buddy it will have to do for now," she said. 

"Victory! You said for now. So I am hoping it means dating in the near future," Benjamin smiled from ear to ear. 

"Only time will tell," Allison grinned. "Until then I will hold on to hope and get my camera ready. I want to take a few pictures of my future girlfriend," Benjamin announced.

"Benjamin, I am not your girlfriend," Allison said knowing that she was wasting her time. Benjamin was so persistent and she was ready to surprise him with her makeover.