Love in the rain

"I think I might have loved you"

TW SH AND VIOLENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Flashback

My mom and dad were fighting when I got home (as always)from school. So as usual I just walked up to my room sisters room and started listening to them to see how bad it was this time.

I know that sounds really bad like I had to listen to my parents fight just in case I had to try and break them up but it wasn't at the time because it has only gotten to that once but after that I have always been scared that it might happen again.

I went to my sister Lea to check in her she was scared in a ball shaking.
I asked her " what happened"  she said my dad hit her and with that u started to walk down the stairs.

suddenly I heard a gun shot everything went silent.

I started to walk back up the stairs back to my sister when my mom started to walk up them she said "pack all of you and your sisters things we are leaving." After she said that I saw the blood on her and the gun in her hand.

I asked her why but then I realized why so I started packing for dear life as well as comforting my sister.

She is only 3. And I was 15.

After we were done packing we left my mom took all of our savings and we took a airplane and moved into a apartment in NYC.

I now see why my mom did this and it was for the best and also,

He deserved it...

End of flashback.

I woke up at 7:00 because it's a Monday morning and I have got to go to work. Today cici is giving me a ride to work because my house is on the way, saves me gas money  and I get to hang out with my best friends so why not.

I got out of bed and started to brush my teeth. After I went and got dressed in some office clothes which was a, black skirt that hit the top of my knees, a tight fitted sweater some appropriate hight heels in black. I sat on my bathroom counter and started my make up some concealer, lipstick, mascara, and blush. After that I grabbed my purse my phone and I was out the door because cici was already waiting for me outside.

Once I arrived at work I sat down at my desk and started typing up and researching about this weeks topic. After I was finished it was about 2:30 so I walked into my bosses office and put my work next to his desk and left with cici she dropped me off at my apartment.

I walked up to my door and saw a bouquet of tulips my favorite flower and before you say its only your favorite flower because it is your name well it is both ok and don't say it can't be because it can and it is.

Next to it was a card I picked it up and it read...

Dear tulip

Hi tulip I wanted to say I don't know if I am ready for This I know where this is leading and I can't walk into a relationship knowing it won't work so I wanted you to know that  I really do like you lots but I can't date you anymore before things get to serious I am leaving New York City and going to Boston if you ever want to fall in love later I would be glad if you could fall in love with me -James W.

Once I was done reading the letter I unlocked my apartment door and through the glass vase filled with tulips on the floor I watched the vase shatter and I could only relate to it "shattered tulips".

I ran into my bathroom and felt sick to my stomach I got into the shower and turned the water as hot as it can go and I sat there as I felt the burning sensation on my skin it wasn't comfortable but that's why I did it because I just ruined my first chance with a guy that was actually not a complete asshole.

I got out of the shower and wiped the mirror with a towel and looked in the mirror at all my scars and scratches.

I started to cry as I picked up my razor and  with my shaking hand added more and more to the collection that I already have it's like I couldn't stop until I saw all the blood dripping from my wrist and thighs, I thought I would never stop. I couldn't move I was like I was paralyzed in place I didn't move for at least 30 minutes. Until I heard knocking on my door I  thought the persona t the door would just leave so I let the person leave but they wouldn't stop knocking so i put on clothes after wiping the blood off me with a towel and put band-aids on my wounds.

I walked to the door and answered it only to find ci ci and it was like she knew what I did without even talking to me. But I know I was just imagining it so I invited her in and just as I did that I realized my bathroom door was still open and just as I realized she saw.....she saw it. The blood, the towel, and the blade.

She just hugged me I didn't know what to do so I just let myself relax into her embrace. I loved her so much. She just gets me, you know.
She slept over that night we watched movies and I told her what happened and she gave me advice and I listened. 

I fell asleep in her arms I woke up in the middle of the night and texted James it was stupid but I did it anyways. I texted him "your a fucking asshole James and I think I might have loved you." and I thought he wouldn't respond until I saw three dots on the left side of my screen. I started to  panic I wasn't prepared for him to respond so i almost instantly put my phone face down and pressed the off button.

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I woke up the next morning ci ci was still asleep by me so i tried to get out of bed as soundless as possible. I just was laying in bed when I felt the pain on my wrist rubbing against my sweatshirt. I then remembered what I did last night I felt guilty. The guilt set in at that moment and the pain to. 

Then I snapped my self out of  my thoughts when i remembered the text. His text.

I could not read that text by myself so I woke up ci ci. I said "ci ci wake up I need your help." she answered in a sleepy voice "hmm Tu?'' I told her " ok don't get mad last night when you went to sleep i kind of texted him."  her eyes suddenly went wide and she said " um so you texted him well what did he say?"  I told to her " well I did not check what he said yet that is why I woke you so we can check it together."  she nodded so I took that as a yes to open the message.

I opened it and it said " tulip I think I love you not loved, I love you and I will forever and i don't think I will ever feel the same way with another women so if you ever feel like falling in love with me again you can find me in Boston. I will always be here waiting for you." 

all I could do at that moment was stare. I couldn't feel anything. I felt numb.

                                                     AUTHORS NOTE<3

hi my lovelys I hope your having a wonderful day or evening. I know its getting sad but it will get better I pinky promise so what do you guys think about James ending it with tulip to go to Boston???? Anyways I love feedback so if you have any please tell me. Bye lovelys see you next time mwahhhh!!!:]