Race for the Throne | Formula One

51. Merge Worlds

I sulked in my bedroom back at the Monaco palace. It was the week between races and I was sick. The doctor said that it was most likely because I had been at the hospital for my coconut allergy before we left Brazil and I must've picked something up there. There was a knock at my door.

"What?" I croaked.

My mom opened the door. "I just wanted to say goodbye before we left for the fundraiser dinner."

"Thanks for rubbing it in," I grumbled.

She came in and sat on the foot of my bed. "Kat, I know you're disappointed because this was supposed to be your first royal event with Charles but there will be others. In fact, there will be so many that you get tired of going to them."

I blew out a breath. "It's silly that I'm so upset over this when I spend so much time trying to make sure Charles is separate from my royal life."

"Why do you do that though?" she asked.

I shrugged. "It's just easier I guess. We only have to worry about Charles' world and not mine."

"But he's a part of your world regardless of whether or not he sees your 'royal' side. So why not just invite him into it. I don't know everything about your relationship obviously but it does seem that some of it might be easier if you just let him see what your world is really like. You're both so important to each other, just try merging the worlds a little bit." She patted my knee through the blankets.

"But I don't really do anything. I go to events, I give the occasional speech, my job is really just to stand places and look pretty most days." I huffed and burrowed deeper under my blankets.

"Darling, there is more to being the princess than that," she said sympathetically.

"But there isn't. Compared to his world, my world is boring and stuffy and full of people that are only around because of the status they get," I complained.

"Kat, and I'm sure he thinks his world is normal too because it's his. Just like your world is normal to you because it's yours. Inviting him to the fundraiser dinner was a step in the right direction, just because you can't end up going doesn't mean you should stop."

I glared at her from under the blankets. "Stop being right. I don't like it."

She stood up and kissed my forehead. "I'm never going to stop being right. I do have to leave now though and I'm pretty sure there's someone here for you."

I pulled the blanket over my head. "If it's Charles, kick him out. I don't want to get him sick."

"Too late." The bed shifted as someone new sat down.

"Why are you here, Charles? Shouldn't you be hanging out with Arthur or doing literally anything else?" I mumbled.

"Stop trying to get rid of me." The bed moved again as Charles laid down next to me.

I moved my blanket away from my face just enough to check the clock on the nightstand closest to my side. "My family is gone for the party now."

"Kat, what's up? Why are you so distant right now?" Charles asked, trying to sound lighthearted but failing.

I winced. It was true, ever since Brazil, I had been more distant. It wasn't really intentional, or I guess it was. I was mentally dealing with a lot and I didn't want Charles to get caught up in it.

"I can practically hear your brain clicking. Talk to me, let me in." His voice was soft.

I huffed and pulled the blankets off my head. "Can't you go bother your friends or something?"

"My friends aren't sick and acting differently but you are."

I turned to face him. "There are two races left in the season."

Charles looked confused but nodded. "Yes, there are two left."

I was frustrated that he couldn't just read my mind for a moment but I took a deep breath."My mom thinks I need to let you into my world more."

"What does this have to do with two races being left?" he asked.

I couldn't blame him, I was confused too at this point. "Let me start over. My mom said I don't let you see my world very much and I said it was because I liked keeping our worlds separate and she said it would be easier if I just let you in. And with only two races left to the season, I won't be able to say, 'oh there's a race' as an excuse."

Charles was quietly rubbing my arm while I talked, now he slid his hand down and took mine in his. "Do you not want me to be a part of your world?"

"It's not because I'm ashamed of you or anything like that, I love you and that's not changing. I guess I'm afraid of what might happen if you come into my world because deep down, I'm afraid of my world. There are so many things that are wrong with it and it's pretty brutal. That's why I try to stay away from it as much as I can. And I guess I don't want you to see any of that," I said quietly.

Charles pulled me onto his chest. "Kat, I'm here to stay, no matter how intense or brutal your world is."

"But what if it changes once you're under royal levels of scrutiny? We've stayed out of that spotlight really, except for that one interview. So what happens when every interview is like that?" I asked.

"I don't know," Charles answered truthfully. "But I do know that I'm not going to leave. Afterall you did invite me to the fundraiser tonight and I know we couldn't end up going but it's the thought right?"
I got out of bed, pulling the blankets around me as I did. "Well I guess the best way to start is at the lowest point."

"Where are we going, my love?" he asked, following me out of the door.

"My mother's study," I replied.

Once there, I pulled a large folder off the shelf and sat on the couch. I patted next to me for Charles to join me.

I handed him the folder. "That's my life, that binder has all the articles that have been written about me."

"I've seen a lot of these." Charles flipped through it.

I stopped his hand and went to the last divider. "These are the ones I need you to see."