Chapter 1- Jeremy

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''Jeremy, I'm back!'' Michael shouted as he nearly broke down our dorm's door off its hinges.

''awww are you not happy to see me'' he drops his bags and runs over to greet me with a hug.

''hi Michael'' I smile at him but honestly I feel a bit intimidated as he's now towering over me whilst I'm trying to chop some vegetables.

''I thought it was my turn to cook?''

''I don't trust you, with what happened last time''

''oh, yeah, whoops. Please let me try again, ill do it correct this time I swear''

''Michael the whole dorm building ended up outside because you set the fire alarm off.''

''Pfft, that was ,what, once?''

''twice''

He jokingly rolls his eyes at me and walks off to the couch and I continue cooking. But, I cant help but feel like somethings changed between us lately, nothing bad , we've just gotten a lot closer than we were in high school, like a lot closer.  I'm happy that we have ,I mean its nice but we've gotten closer in like a more than friends way, he hugs me every time i see him, tells me how much he loves me and hes never done that this much before. Im just confused, i guess.

--
Next day i guess🙏🙏

"am i gay quiz?'
"how to know if ur gay"
"i think im inlove with my bestfriend"
"how to ignore the fact that ur gay"
"bisexual definition"
"how to confess to ur bestfriend of 15 years that u like him"
"therapy"
My fucking search history. I spent my whole night researching wether im gay for michael or not ,now i have two assignments due in tomorrow that i havent even opened and no will to live.
I mean i couldve just called rich, that wouldve been abit smarter and maybe i wouldnt be this tired and maybe i mightve gotten my assignments done.
Despite my impending doom coming upon me, i grab my bags and and head out. Im late ,its 1:30pm and i havent even eaten.
"JEREMY,DONT LEAVE YET"
michael, the boy i spent my whole night thinking abt.
"Do you know where my glasses are?"
"bathroom cabinet,left side"
"thank you SO much"he smiles at me and waves me off, i smile back as he runs around the corner towards the bathroom.

I feel some kind of guilt from not telling him that i like him, like im hiding something from him,i mean i AM hiding something from him but what if that one sentence ruins our 15 years of being friends,everything would be over in a heartbeat. I try to stop thinking about it and continue walking down the hall, its empty,cold and honestly kinda creepy, it makes me feel unsettled and makes everything worse.

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