【Ｄｉｒｔｙ Ｓｅｃｒｅｔｓ】

20

Derek's POV

What am I even doing I don't want her to be hurt when she finds out I'm a porn star. She would think I'm a man whore."N-never mind" I realise my mistake. I walk away as I watch her stare at me in disappointment.

I know it would be better if I told but would she still accept me? I let Nick talk to her and stuff. I see a girl walk up to me looking almost like Meredith but a bit taller and a lot longer hair. "Hey" She says I give her a smile and continue to drink  my scotch. "Hmm you don't like me is that why" She asks "Well I can be fun" She smirks in a dirty remark. "Well I can too" I smile 

Should I sleep with her?I can't sleep with Meredith in risk of losing our friend ship and her opinions on me but it couldn't hurt.

"Maybe we can be fun together" I say. She grabs my hand making me follow her. We walk outside the bar but I see Meredith watching me. I get a cab and drive off to her house. We become all touchy.

Meredith POV

I watch Derek leave the club with some girl. I leave with no one as Mark has the keys he has already taken off. I take a cab to my house and cry my eyes out. Why doesn't he want me.  I listen to my sad playlist till the morning.

A bunch of negative thoughts run through my head. I stare in a mirror and cry picturing the same girl he left with.

 Am I not tall enough for him? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not curvy enough? Am I not thin enough? Is my ass too flat or my boobs too tiny? Am I just not enough for him? 

I cry at my own thoughts picking out my own flaws. I wasn't able to sleep so I left the house with sweats and a hoodie. My mascara was all ruined and my eyes were puffy. I head to a seven eleven for some food. 

I grab a few bags of chips and a slushie before leaving. I drive back home and open my bedroom window. I bring my food,blanket,phone,pillows and laptop to lie down on top of my roof watching the stars and later watch a movie.

I get a message from Addy saying "Mark is so good in bed" I smile and send her a devil emoji. I get back to crying and listening to music. I make a decision that I'm going to my non-lover era.

The morning I wake up on my roof it's still early and I'm not hungover. It's 6 am so I decide to work out at the gym. I change into a sports bra and yoga pants. I head on over to the gym and decide to do squats while listening to my workout playlist. 

I feel a bit uncomfortable as I see some guys looking at me. I decide to do some pull ups. I did a total of 20 I beat my record of 13. I look around for some weights and realise Derek is here. He had no shirt on and shorts. 

I turn around reminding myself I am in a no lover era. My legs fold as I see his very fit body and his very soft dick still poking out of his short."I fucking hate myself" I mutter as I go back to squats working on my leg muscles.

Very short chapter sorry about that