Warriors: Cobwebs

28. The Pain Between Two

     Webpaw gazed into the water of the mostly frozen Moonpool. The ice was white with a thin layer of cold water that, when touched, created the tiniest ripples.

     He was alone on the mountain, for which he was thankful. To whom he was thankful was something he was unsure of.  For the longest time now, he had heard nothing from StarClan. He felt alone, and uncoordinated. What would he do without guidance? How would he solve the prophecy without the help of StarClan?

     For a moment he questioned himself as to why he hadn't spoken to Clearwhisker. The answer arose quickly: he was afraid that his mentor would see him as a threat because of the "web" mentioned in the prophecy.

     But the dark cat in his dreams gave him a choice, or so it seemed, saying that he could be the Web or the Spider. It didn't help much though; Webpaw didn't know what the difference was.

     The dreams of the last few nights consisted of nothing but a dark forest that quickly shifted to a place of twolegs and strange cats, where a run-down nest stood. And eyes of blue, Tigerkit's eyes, turned to a menacing green. And blood would snake from the shadows and touch Webpaw's paws.

     So he stared into the thin layer of water that sat atop the ice. He had taken a dangerous journey up that mountain, and he hoped- no- demanded answers. Even if he had to die in order to reach StarClan so that he could warn his Clan. It was the Clan that had saved his life and done so much for him, and he would do anything for DarkClan.

     Webpaw dug a ditch in the little bit of snow that surrounded the pool of water, and he curled up in the hole. It was warmer than he expected, thanks to his fur. And he fell asleep slowly.

     StarClan was dark. And the stars gleamed above like beautiful, stand-still fireflies. Sitting just ahead was a she-cat who peered at him with blue eyes like water,  whose brown fur stood on end in the breeze that caught her.

     "Hello, Webpaw," she mewed, her tone hollow. Webpaw stood and took a few steps towards his mother, but he stopped and took a step back.

     "Why have you been avoiding me?" he inquired down-heartedly. Violet blinked her icy eyes and sighed, dipping her head and pinning her ears back in shame. "I've been afraid," she admitted guiltily. "Of the future. I don't know what to tell you, and I never did." Webpaw flinched and felt as if a stake had been driven through his heart, and a spark of anger flared in him. "You've.. Stayed away out of fear? You practically abandoned me out of fear?" he questioned accusingly, and he stepped forward two steps. "You have left me broken-hearted, afraid, confused and stressed because you were afraid?" He stopped in his tracks when his mother looked up at him pitifully, and he sat and stared down at his paws. His claws that had prodded the ground slid back into his toes. "I've been afraid.. I don't know what to do," he mewled in a kitten-like fashion.

     "Webpaw," Violet said softly, getting up and slowly approaching her discordant kit. "You need to do what's best for your Clan. And.. And what you think is best for yourself. I'm sure it's possible.. To stop a prophecy." "I can't just rule over Tigerkit," Webpaw told her. "I can't alter her life. I can't steal her away, because she'll find a way back, I'm sure. That's.. How it was for me. If she's meant to hurt my Clan, then she will, unless she's.." He trailed off, but he was not thoughtless.

     She would never hurt my Clan if she were dead.

     He stared now at Violet with a widened eye, and he had no way to describe the hatred he had for himself. But his Clan would be safe. The Tiger would be gone.

     It's murder. She's a kit. That'd be wrong.

     But she could hurt my Clan.

     "I.. I'm sorry, but I have to wake up," Webpaw whispered, and the earth fell out from beneath him.

     "I had a passing thought," Webpaw said casually as he padded through the freshly lain snow. Dust clung to his paws and chilled his paw pads, turning his feet numb as he walked. "If.. You had to kill a cat for your Clan.. For the entirety of your Clan.. Would you do it?"

     Goldpaw stopped and stared at Webpaw momentarily as he continued walking, and she picked up her pace.

     "Well.. Yeah, but it'd hurt. I never want to kill a cat, but for my Clan.. Why are you even asking?"

     Webpaw shrugged his shoulders. "I was wondering how you felt. I overheard Froststrike and Tawny talking, and I was curious about your views on things." He hated lying, with all of his heart, but he knew it was necessary.

     He quickly changed the subject with hopes that he could escape his guilt.

     "Shouldn't Ashkit and Redkit be apprentices now?" he asked Goldpaw with slight concern. It was strange knowing that he had been with DarkClan since Ashkit and Redkit were tiny, which he was sure was five or so moons ago. "I personally think Fallenstar is going to wait. I don't think she's doing too well, or at least not well enough to focus on Redkkt and Ashkit," Goldpaw answered with a hint of sadness in her voice. "Shadesight's death messed Fallenstar up. She's fallen off track, I think.. I think she's depressed from it, so she can't really put her attention on apprenticeships. I think that may be why I haven't been tested."

     Webpaw halted. "How long have you been an apprentice?" Goldpaw stopped as well and looked at him, then exhaling as if to prepare to tell some horrific news. "Seven moons." "How long are warrior apprentices usually apprentices?" Webpaw asked her. She shrugged. "Six moons, I think. Either I'm not good enough, or Fallenstar won't let me test. Maybe Rainfall has some secret hatred for me and tells Fallenstar that I'm terrible. Maybe I'm just not a good Clancat, and they know that?"

     "You're perfect," Webpaw told her, lashing his tail. He had half the mind to approach Rainfall about Goldpaw, who deserved nothing more than to test. "You're the perfect warrior. The perfect cat."

     Goldpaw snorted and shook her head. "I appreciate the support but-"

     "No, you're perfect. You're loyal and tough, and you care about your Clan. And I love you! You've always been so.. So.."

     Webpaw bit his tongue, and his fur puffed out and bristled in panic. Goldpaw's eyes

were wide in confusion, as if she had trouble processing his words. "I've always tried to be.. A good clanmate and friend," she murmured, mind disfigured, and Webpaw knew he had made a mistake.  He closed his eye and looked away. "You're much more than a friend, but.."

     "You really love me?" Goldpaw choked. She sounded pained and startled now. Webpaw managed a tiny nod. "Why?" the she-cat asked him. He shrugged.

     "Everything."

      "I can't love you back," she told him. "Why?" he said, quoting the she-cat as he looked up at her.

     "Everything," she said, quoting the tom as she looked away from him.

     There was pain between the two. And Goldpaw, broken down, began stalking back to camp. Webpaw sat in the snow, not daring to look at his friend, instead turning his attention to the sky. It was grey, with a sun that peered through with an equally grey tone, and the clouds hung above the forest as grey cotton balls.

     Everything seemed grey, and it hurt.