WARNING: Clockwork Princess spoilers.
"I...uh, we'll let James explain," Sirius said.
James sighed as he watched Sirius and Peter head towards the dormitories. How was he supposed to know what to say?
"Uh, Lils. It's just that -wait. Are you crying? Lily, what's wrong!?" He walked towards her and took her hand impulsively.
She shook her head silently, it was nothing. She wasn't going to tell him, it was just embarrassing. She looked down at their hands and another tear escaped from her eye.
James didn't know what to do. For months, years really, he had been in love with this girl and to see her like this just broke him.
"It's nothing," she sobbed. She turned away from him and she sank to the floor. He sat next to her and pulled her into a warm embrace. She cried silently into his shoulder for a few minutes and then she composed herself by taking a deep breath.
He glanced at her, obviously worried that she'd start crying again.
"It's okay," she said with a small smile. "It's over now."
"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't really know what to do. Seeing you like that, it just..." he trailed off.
She leaned into him again and sighed contently.
"This was enough James."
He glanced down at her again. Her eyes were still a little red but she honestly did look okay now.
"Do you wanna talk about it? I mean, you don't have to, but if it will help..."
To his surprise, she let out a small giggle.
"You'll just think I'm silly," she said.
"Lily," he said, looking at her intently. "I could never think you were silly."
She sighed, knowing that she couldn't, not tell him. Not when he was looking at her like that so - lovingly.
"Well," she began, picking up her book. "I'm reading this muggle book. Its called Clockwork Princess and it's my favourite, but at the end there's a heartbreaking scene about one of the main characters dying. His name is Will. It's just so hard to read, his wife and his best friend, they're both there and their pain is so strong. It's like I can feel it."
She looked up at him to see him looking back at her. She sighed.
"You think I'm weird don't you?"
James pushed a bit of hair behind her ear and smiled.
"I don't think you're weird. I think you're amazing. The fact that something fictional can get to you that much, that you were in tears because of it," he shook his head silently. "Lily, only a truly wonderful and caring person could feel like that over something you've read. You let a book into your heart and you grew to love it. That's not weird, that's a truly amazing talent. I wish I could do it."
She sat there in shock. James Potter had just complimented her, like 5 times. And she was expecting him to laugh. She smiled and leaned up to kiss his cheek.
"Thank you for understanding," she said quietly. "I'm tired now, I'm going to go to bed. Night, Potter."
She walked to the staircase and closed the door behind her, she stood there for a moment and she could have sworn she heard James whisper "goodnight Lily". She shook her head. What the hell had just happened!? She just had a moment, with James Potter. What was she going to do now!? She shook her head again and let out a small sigh. She was, genuinely, very tired. She headed up to bed, she'd figure the rest out in the morning.
James wandered up to his dormitory absentmindedly, still trying to wrap his head around what just happened. Did this mean they were friends now?
"James! Thank the gods. Why were you so long? What happened? Does Lily know?" Sirius asked him.
"Uh, what?" he replied intelligently.
Sirius sighed. "Does Lily know about Moony, what did you tell her?"
"Oh," James said stupidly. He'd actually forgot that had happened. Never mind, no harm done.
"We actually never spoke about that."
Peters eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Then what did you talk about?"
"Nothing important," James said, a little too quickly. "Listen boys, we'll talk tomorrow. I'm tired. I need sleep."
•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
James woke up to someone hitting him in the head.
"James, for the gods sake, sit up. I swear I will throw a cup of water over you."
James sat up quickly expecting to see Sirius. He was usually the one who threatened him, so naturally, he was surprised when he saw Moony. He looked slightly pale but other than that, he seemed to be fine.
"Oh," he said sleepily. "Remus, what's wrong?"
"Sirius told me what happened last night? Does Lily know, does she... Does she hate me now?"
James thought it was fair that he had a turn of hitting someone in the head.
"Ow," Remus shouted, "what the hell was that for?"
"Just for the record, she doesn't know. But she wouldn't hate you! Lily's your friend, she wouldn't think any different of you!"
"You can't know that James," Remus said.
"I can." James replied forcefully. He got up and went down to breakfast. He stood outside the entrance hall. What was he going to do when he saw Lily, pretend that nothing happened? That was probably the easiest strategy, that's probably what she wanted...
•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
Lily had to admit it, she was hurt. James was acting as if nothing had happened. I mean, she had wanted him to do that, it was the easiest option for when she was around her friends. But, not even a smile, last night must've meant nothing to him. He was sat a few seats down, opposite Sirius.
"What's wrong Lils?"
I saw his eyes quickly flash to my face and away again. Ugh, I hate boys. How was I supposed to know what any of this stuff meant?
"I'm fine Mar," I sighed. "Just thinking."
"Well stop," she said, hitting me on the shoulder. "You look sad. So, how's about you tell me something, get your mind of things."
Lily suddenly remembered something.
"Okay," she said and then she smiled. "Why don't you ask Sirius and James why they were out so lat last night? They didn't come in until about 2 in the morning."
Remus, who had just walked in froze at the opposite side of the table. He looked at Lily with wide eyes, many emotions showing in them all at once. Lily watched them as they flashed, fear, worry, loss, pain. Before she had a chance to say anything he had turned around and left.
James sighed as he looked at Remus leaving. He thought she knew, he thought she was making fun of him. James had seen it all in his eyes and although she hadn't done it on purpose, it was still hard for him not to be angry with Lily.
"We were late because we had to take Remus to the hospital wing. He wasn't feeling to good," James snapped.
Lily saw Sirius' and Marlene's eyes widen with shock, James never spoke to her like that. What had she done? She stood up, and with tears in her eyes, she went to find Remus.
