Quantum Entanglement: Howzer and Aurelia

33. Baby Steps

[Author's Note: So here's the thing... The next few chapters have a tumultuous amount of angst and heartache; it just kind of flowed as I continued the story. BUT, if you're here to enjoy fluff and not read about sad stuff, you can skip to Chapter 39. It's like a choose-your-own-adventure.] :)

"We're going down! Brace yourselves!" the pilot shouted, and Aurelia pulled the crash bar down over her head, clicking it into place around her chest. Her heart pounded in her ears, and she whimpered a silent prayer under her breath. Was this how it ended? For her, and for the little one within? 

Suddenly she looked up, and Moss Gowden was sitting on the transport across from her, smiling sinisterly with blazing eyes. The ship lurched and tilted, and he was instantly standing, free of the restraints, approaching her with an outstretched hand. Just then, the ship hit the ground with an earsplitting crash, and everything blazed white with the explosion of impact. 

Aurelia woke up with a gasp that choked her sleepy yell, sitting bolt upright in her bunk. She was clammy with sweat, and waves of nausea threatened to send her straight to the refresher. Panting with a confused panic that was taking far too long to recede, she rubbed her eyes in an attempt to clear the horrific scene from her mind. 

It was a minimal improvement, so she lumbered out of her tiny dorm apartment, sliding the door open with a sleepy swipe of the hand and venturing out toward the common room. It had a basic kitchen area, as well as some scattered furniture for eating, working, or lounging, and was dimly lit by the soft glow of the nighttime safety lamps. Still shaking inside, Aurelia opened the refrigerator, squinting at the offensively bright light from within as she scanned the meager options. Her stomach churned, feeling simultaneously hungry yet upset, and she closed the door empty-handed. Turning to a cupboard instead, she fished out some plain crackers, moving toward the table to find the most comfortable-looking seat. 

"Seems like an odd hour for a snack," came a gentle voice from the hallway, startling her and sending crackers flying across the floor. 

"Kriff," she muttered, dropping the roll of wrapped crackers onto the table next to her and bending down to pick up her mess. "You scared me, Lennox. What are you doing out here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Lennox answered, slowly moving forward into more light. He was a tall, lanky human with a curly mop of brown hair and a boyish face that gave him a look of softness and approachability. It was well-suited for his work as a medical droid programmer and medic, and he had an even-tempered, compassionate way with patients and friends alike. His bright hazel eyes framed a rounded nose, and his high cheekbones were often curved into a smile. He had an edge, at times, with demanding or uncooperative patients, but was always able to lay down the law with grace and diplomacy, something Aurelia had always admired. 

"Can't sleep. Nightmares. And I feel sick," Aurelia grumped, picking up the last of the crackers and sliding into a chair at a small dining table. 

"Still with the nightmares?" Lennox said, frowning and taking a seat next to her. He reached for a cracker, studying her with concern. "It's been over six weeks now... I mean, I guess that's not very long, but I was hoping they'd fade quickly once you got settled... Anything I can do to help?"

"I don't know what to do anymore," came the resigned reply, as Aurelia nibbled another cracker.

"Hey," he said in mock sternness, giving her hand a light smack as it stretched across the table toward the crackers, startling her a bit. She looked up quickly in indignation, though it dissipated as she saw his playful smile. "That's not the fighting spirit. You've got what... six months or so left? You're strong. You're smart. You were made for this. You can do it."

"I appreciate it," she said honestly, "But this is not how I ever expected things to go. I feel like I'm flying blind." She munched on the cracker, tired of its plain, salty taste that seemed to be the only thing she could stomach these days. With all the advanced medicine and technology, she was disappointed that there was not yet any cure for morning sickness and other early pregnancy woes. It had been weeks of exhaustion and nausea, not to mention the overall moodiness that wasn't helped by the trauma of all that she'd recently been through. 

Some of the volunteers at the clinic had taken her under their wings, providing comfort and polite friendship that she hadn't experienced in years. Lennox similarly had been exceedingly helpful, working by her side as frequently as possible and often bringing small treats and gifts of encouragement. It had started with a puffy rice snack that she'd discovered she loved, and after an offhanded comment of her affinity for it during a procedure one day, she'd found an entire bucket of them outside her dorm room. A few weeks later, a humorous little bouquet was tucked into her cubby at the medical clinic, and it made her chuckle, as it was entirely made out of medical supplies -- inflated rubber gloves, sterile masks, IV tubes, and other such nonsense. She marveled at the creativity it took to create it, and it indeed did lift her spirits. Despite the despondency of her situation, Aurelia was deeply grateful for the small community she'd found and didn't know what she would have done without them. 

"We're all flying blind, really," Lennox offered after a moment. "We may think we know what we're doing or where we're going, but life often has a different plan. So we take it one step at a time, just like you're doing." He nodded, confidently supporting his own words. "Do you want something to help you sleep?" 

"No... It makes me dream more..." 

"Ah."

"But thank you," she said earnestly, lifting her eyes to his and giving his hand a friendly pat. "I really appreciate all that you and the others have been doing for me since I got here."

"Nothing any hero wouldn't do," he said with a small salute. "But in all seriousness, I don't know how that dude on Ryloth just ditched you like that."

Pain sang through Aurelia's heart at the thought of it. She hadn't shared much at all about her past, except that she had worked in the medical clinic in Lessu and had become pregnant by a local there who had been since removed from the picture. She'd made it clear that it wasn't a topic she wished to discuss, and they had respected her boundaries. 

"He didn't ditch me, Lennox. I told you... He didn't have a choice."

"Hmm," he rumbled disapprovingly, "Even so... You'd think he'd have found a way to send word, or find you, or anything by now. I would have died trying. Especially knowing you were pregnant!"

"He didn't know," Aurelia said, feeling choked up all of a sudden. "I didn't get to tell him. Can we please not talk about this? You know it's not..." She sniffed, clamping her mouth shut to withhold sudden grief. Lennox tilted his head, eyebrows arched in compassion, and he lowered his head slightly. 

"I'm sorry, you're right. I'm an idiot. Besides... You're doing just fine, right?" he said, an attempt at optimism that fell somewhat flat. 

"One step at a time," she echoed quietly, wrapping up the rest of the crackers. "I'm gonna try to get some sleep. Were you just lurking out here or what?" 

"I've developed a habit of midnight snacking," Lennox admitted with a shrug as they both rose from their seats. "I'll put those away for you if you'd like," he offered, holding a hand out for the crackers, which Aurelia gladly surrendered. 

"Thanks, Len," her soft voice conveyed her gratitude for more than just the cracker clean-up, and he felt a pang in his chest as she turned away to the hall.