Tasteful Darkness

Chapter 30

Balendin - Now

I'm trying to remember when I became afraid of being bold. It definitely occurred in the last century, considering that I would have walked away without any nerves whatsoever if I had said what I just said to Peter back then.

However, at the moment, it feels like my entire body is vibrating. I raise my hand and notice just how violently it's shaking.

I curse at nothing in particular and try to convince myself it's because I'm starved. I have to eat a soul before the wedding. I know I won't last otherwise.

One of the many problems with investing so much time in one person is that I have had no time to have any fun. I have had to take all of these souls the old-fashioned way—no preparation whatsoever. Before Peter, I could spend an entire day growing closer to a human. It made the retrieval of the soul so much easier, and with much less risk of the soul being uncooperative.

I'm too tired to try anything tonight. My body starts taking me towards the one place I know souls will be ready for the taking.

I have been here several times before, on days where I'm too famished to hunt for a proper victim, or when I'm in a hurry.

The familiar hospital comes into view. It is larger than most other buildings in the city—three stories cast shade over the street in front of it. It's grown damaged over the years, but humans have tried their best to keep it in proper shape and make sure it is always prepared to treat patients.

My hands fidget in my pockets as I stand in front of the hospital.

This is a place of pain and blood and death. I am only here to release a human from it.

A woman exits the hospital just as I slip inside, and I take her form the moment the door closes behind me. With a smile to another nurse, I make my way towards the patient rooms.

"Rose?" someone calls out from behind me.

I turn, instinctively. From down the hall, I meet the eyes of a woman around my form's age. She has red hair, hidden underneath a bonnet. Her hands are crossed against her front as she waits for an answer.

"I thought you had gone home?" she continues, the words coming out as a question.

I give a small smile. "I forgot something," I say, keeping up my cheery facade.

Her confusion seems to fade, but only slightly. "Ah, all right," she says, uncertain. "Do you need help looking for it?"

I shake my head, waving her off. "It's all right. Thank you. Will I see you tomorrow?"

"Yes. Don't be late again tomorrow, all right?"

I smile and nod. "Of course. See you then."

I give her one last wave before making my way down the hall, careful not to appear rushed. I glance behind me and realize she's still watching, up until I turn the corner.

Maybe pretending to be a visitor would have been safer.

The smell of despair grows heavier and heavier in the air as I make my way down the hall. It's layered so thick I can practically see it as it guides me towards the parting souls.

I reach a tall, dark door. My skin prickles as I push it open and see the pain in front of me.

Dozens of beds are pushed up against walls covered in windows that allow light to spill into the room. Patients rest on every bed, but besides them, the room is void of any nurses or attendants.

I can feel the souls of every single human in this room. Some are stronger than I would have thought, but few are barely alight. Unconsciously, my lips twitch when I sense a particular soul—one that is practically already gone from the Overworld.

I make my way towards the side of the bed and look down at the man.

His entire body is withered down with age, and I worry that simply touching him will break something. His eyes are closed, his eyelids fluttering. It's difficult to imagine this man is in pain.

I lay a single hand on his chest and close my eyes.

"I knew my time was coming," a broken voice says.

I snap my eyes open and meet the two, deep brown eyes of the man in front of me.

Neither of us moves.

"It's all right," he says, coughing. "I have been ready for a long time."

I blink, nearly retracting my hand. "You're not going to fight back?"

He opens his eyes, frowning. "How could I?" he asks. "I have lived many years, and it is finally my time to leave. I have been waiting for you."

"You don't know me."

"No?" he asks. "Hm. I suppose you are right. I never thought Death would be so conversational." He lets out a laugh that rumbles in his chest. In a moment, he goes still.

My eyes widen when I realize what happened.

I immediately grab for his soul, relieved when I feel it between my fingers. I retract my hand and look down at the life in front of me. It's small, a pale green, and barely glowing.

I give one last look at the man. He looks at peace now.

I swallow any building emotions and start towards the back door, not looking back even once.

I suck in a breath the moment I'm outside, desperately wishing that I could feel the cool air inside my lungs. The only thing I feel is shame burning inside of me.

After shifting my form and finding a desolate alleyway, I sink to the floor, my back resting against the side of a building. I twirl the soul in my fingers, debating.

My memories try to drag me away from the present—back to a day I've tried to forget about for years.

The day where I let a soul go. The day I truly lost a part of what makes me a Guard.

I practically snarl as I try to chase the thoughts away. I clutch the soul tighter in my fist and throw it in my mouth, swallowing immediately.

Images flash in front of my eyes.

A large family, only for it to be lost. A woman, beautiful and gone. A sickness that chased away hope in the blink of an eye.

I cough, spitting out dark matter onto the floor, and swallowing the rest. I don't have time for this.

New energy surges through me and I push myself into a standing position.

The wedding is tomorrow, and the very thought of spending such time with Peter makes something inside me ache and something else twinge in annoyance.

How long can I keep up this charade before it all goes wrong?

I bring myself out of the alleyway, my arms crossed tightly against my chest.

I need a drink.