Tasteful Darkness

Chapter 46

Balendin - Now

Love is a volatile thing. It can appear unannounced and unwanted, and you can try anything and everything to get rid of it, but it finds a way to stay. It finds a way to cling to you and form a home inside your chest, and it will stay there no matter how many times you scream for it to leave.

Love cost me everything. Loving him broke the heart inside me that I had been hiding from for centuries.

But... love gave me life that I never would have had without it.

It's been four years since he left. When he left, I stayed beside him for a long time. Ariel returned moments after I removed his soul, and she kept apologizing. For what, I do not know. I couldn't hear her. The thrumming of emotions in my mind was too loud for me to hear anything.

I don't know how I kept living. I thought I would die that day, but that is the one thing I cannot do.

I didn't think I would have the courage to leave him, let alone the city. Even though I have no idea how many years I have left before the Creator finds a way to end me, I figured I would spend them in the same city that helped me find Peter so many years ago.

Deep down, I knew Peter would have never wanted that for me. To be stuck in the same place for the rest of my eternity.

The city is so different now. Society has grown as time moved on, as it always does, but it was strange to witness the change of a place I had grown to love.

My hand curls around the train ticket in my pocket. I've crumpled it so many times over the last hour I'm surprised it hasn't reduced to shreds.

The new bookstore lies in front of me. It took them numerous years to start building it, and when they finally finished, Peter and I never dared visit. I sensed his unease whenever we walked past it, a harsh reminder of the night he died the first time.

I never thought I would find myself back here. The memory of Peter's absence seems to overwhelm all the positive memories I used to hold dear.

Before I can process what I'm doing, I'm walking forward and entering through the front door.

Despite being an entirely different building, it feels awfully familiar. The books are stacked neatly in their shelves, contrasting to how haphazardly they used to be shelved.

Someone took care of this place, and the thought of it makes something inside me ache.

Movement catches my eye. A young woman carrying a box of books appears to my left. When she spots me, she jumps back in surprise. The box slips from her hands and lands on the ground with a loud thud. Books sprawl across the floor, and she responds with a harsh curse.

"Sorry," she says immediately. "We rarely have customers."

"No need to apologize," I say. "Let me help you."

I don't wait for her to reply and approach her to help. I pick up the books and carefully place them back inside the box. For a moment, the woman only watches, before eventually collecting herself and joining me on the ground.

Once we're finished, the woman agrees for me to help her carry the box to its destination.

"Thank you," she says, letting out a sigh. "My mother would kill me if I damaged any books."

That makes me smile.

I quickly take her in. She has brown hair that is tainted with light red, and eyes that are wide with curiosity. There is something about those eyes that reminds me of someone.

"If you don't mind me asking," I say slowly, "are you related to someone named Anna?"

The woman freezes for a moment, blinking. "I..." she starts, drifting off. "Yes. My grandmother's name was Anna."

"Then that must make William your grandfather."

She blinks again in disbelief. "How do you know them? They passed away decades ago."

I only smile. "I know an old friend of theirs."

She doesn't seem entirely convinced, but she changes the subject. "My mother wanted to rebuild the bookstore—there used to be one here, but it burned down."

Something aches inside of me, but I only nod.

"My grandfather agreed, and told us that one of his closest friends used to frequent it."

None of Peter's friends found out about his first death. They had only heard of the fire and were grateful Peter wasn't there when it happened.

"That's ancient history now," the woman says, waving her hand. "But it's wonderful to think that you've heard of my grandparents."

I nod.

"What made you stop by?" the woman asks as she goes back to whatever she was doing.

"I was hoping to get a book for my train ride," I tell her.

"You're leaving? Well, that's a shame." She ducks behind the counter before I can reply. When she reemerges, she has a book held in her hands. "It's by the same author as A Silent Life, which I've heard is well-known."

I take the book. "How much for it?"

She shakes her head. "Consider it a gift. Good luck on your journey."

She outstretches her hand, and I shake it.

"I didn't catch your name," I say, letting go of her hand.

"Althea," she says. "My name is Althea."

I blink. "That's a beautiful name."

"An idea from my grandmother, or so I've heard."

I can't help it. A small laugh escapes me, and the piece of a soul inside my chest begins to flutter.

"Thank you for this," I say, holding up the book, but thanking her for so much more.

She nods. "No problem, stranger."

When I leave, I feel as if a weight has been lifted from my chest. I take a deep breath and sigh everything out from my chest.

I am not leaving Peter. I am leaving for Peter. I will keep living for him because that's what he would have wanted. He wanted me to live—he wouldn't have given me his soul if not.

I don't know what this life will bring me, but I do know that I will spend every day trying to make up for everything the darkness inside of me has ever forced me to do.

This is for you, Peter. And that will never change.  

Author's Note:

Thank you all so much for reading Balendin and Peter's story. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it, and please leave a comment and vote if you did! 

Have an amazing day 

<3