Sweet Creature (jemily)

Chapter Thirteen

JJ's eyes started to flutter closed. Emily's arms were wrapped around her waist, JJ's skin feeling icy against hers.

It was nearly midnight and it had started to snow outside softly. It was still warm in the cabin though, with the heater on.

Emily softly pressed kisses down JJ's back, stopping when she noticed the tattoo. She'd seen it before, obviously, but she'd never gotten a closer look at it. It was a pair of simple angel wings on her lower back, small enough to be hidden most of the time. It was the only tattoo JJ had.

"When'd you get this?" she asked, running her fingers over it. JJ rolled over, curling up into Emily's arms. "When I was 17, in an alley behind a 7-11. It's pretty surprising I didn't get sepsis now that I think about it," she responded sleepily. "My friend Auggie did it."

It looked pretty good, Emily had assumed a professional did it. "It's beautiful," she told her.

"Thanks," JJ said, resting her head on Emily's chest. Emily raked her fingers through JJ's hair, gently rubbing her back. "Why'd you get it?"

JJ fell silent. She wasn't sure if she should lie and make up a reason or tell the truth. She didn't like telling the reality of the story. After thinking about it for a few seconds she made up her mind. She couldn't lie to Emily, not after everything.

"Remember how I told you that I was a majorly screwed up kid?" she asked. "I wouldn't call you that, but yes," Emily replied.

"I was," JJ sighed. "After I ran away my dad got custody of me. It wasn't his choice, he didn't want me. He just wanted his new family and to forget about the past. I saw him once, I stayed with him for only a week. Then he shipped me off to this school in the woods and I never saw him again. I just ran away again before I had to see him, I didn't want to go back."

Emily listened closely, not interrupting JJ at all because she wanted to hear the story.

"I liked that school though, most of the time. They had a big thing about no drugs but I would always find a way to get a fix. I met this kid there. A guy. I thought I loved him. It would've never worked out. He needed stability and so did I, we couldn't give it to each other." JJ's voice started to trail off but she took a breath and continued.

"When I was 17 I got pregnant. I wasn't in any condition to raise a kid but I hadn't decided what I wanted to do. The universe decided for me, I guess. I lost the baby at 16 weeks. I know it was my fault. I can't remember what I was taking back then but it couldn't have been good for the baby. Anyways, I got the tattoo to remember her. I think it was a girl."

Emily was quiet for a minute before talking. "It wasn't your fault. Nothing that happened was your fault," she said softly.

"You have no idea what I've done, Emily," JJ laughed bitterly. "You wouldn't be saying that if you did."

"I don't believe that," Emily finally said. "I don't know what you've done, but I do know that none of it was your fault. No matter what it was, anyone that young couldn't be blamed. If you were put in that situation then that was the fault of your parents."

"You don't know what you're talking about." She shook her head. "I can't blame what I did on the people who put me in that situation. I was the one who did it."

"You're right, I don't know. You haven't told me," Emily said. She had no idea how many awful things JJ could've done in her childhood, but she didn't think any of them could be fully her fault.

"You'll think I'm disgusting," JJ said, not looking Emily in the eye. "I won't. I would never think that about you," Emily told her.

Finally, JJ decided to stop lying. It felt like Emily always ended up finding everything out anyways, so what was the point of trying to stop her? It was exhausting and JJ was done with it.