"manik" I whisepred grabbing his face
he grabbed my hands from his face and held onto them
"If I break down in front of you right now, I need to know you will hold me. If I cry my eyes out I need to know you will wipe every tear that falls down my cheeks, If I tell you all about these 10 years I need to know you won't judge me, I need to know if you want this marriage Nandini, I need to know that 2 years or 5 years down the line you will still be here with me not jsut because a marriage bounds us but becasue you want to"
Every word he spoke reflected pain.
"I will be here, today, tommorow, the day after and forever. I am sorry for taking my pain and making it so big that I forgot to look at yours too" I whispered
His grip on my hand tightened.
"I shared it all with you, now I want you to share your pain with me"
"I am angry" he whispered squeezing my hands a bit
"Let me touch you manik" I whisepred
His grip on my hand loosened, I sat beside him placing a pillow on my lap.
"Come here" I whispered
He laid down on my lap, his eyes closed as tears rundown the side of his eyes.
I wiped his tears leaning down to kiss his forehead. that just made him grab onto my waist shoving his face in my stomach
"Nandini you think I don't care but I swear I do. When I heard your voice on the phone this morning I almost had a fucking heart attack hearing you cry, the things I went though getting to you was something I ever wanna go through, I was praying to everything you used to pray to. I was hoping you'd be fine and when I got there, seeing you like that made me ballistic, I would have killed him but I knew you needed me more. Nandini every ounce of me hurts seeing you cry, its like my body is in physical pain seeing you crying or hurting"
I didn't think seeing me like that would hurt him like it did.
"Im okay and im right here in your arms" I whisper running my fingers through his hair
"Seeing you shivering made me feel sick, I felt like throwing up when I saw you shaking and shivering"
"Im sorry you had to see that" I whisepred
"No, you should be sorry for going there alone at 3 in the morning, you should be sorry for not letting me take care of you" he chokes saying this
"manik" I whisper feeling him getting anxiety
Manik has always suffered with anxiety ever since he was little, when he would choke up with emotions, he would hyperventilate and it took hours to calm him down.
"I I can't lose you, I am lost nandini, I am lost without you. My life, it, it has no no purpose"
"Shhhh it's okay, breath" I whisper
"Nandini" he cried holding me tighter
i turned his face so he look at me instead of having his face in my stomach, he opened his eyes and looked in mine
"Breath" I said caressing his face
He held my hand as I caressed his face gently, he took small shallow breaths until he could breath again.
"Nan-nandini" he whispered
"It's okay, we don't need to talk about any of this today. I think today has been a very heavy day for us anyways"
"You can hate me but please don't leave me again, I can't lose me again and without you I am lost so please"
"Never manik, silly we are going to have arguments but I promise I won't leave. I was stupid for not opening up for 8 months but I swear I won't leave. It's only a uphill from here"
YOU ARE READING
Lost Without You
RomanceHe is the owner of the biggest architecture company in India. She is hired as his personal assistant. He has a past she doesn't know just like she has demons of her own he isn't aware of. They were friends when they were kids, but when they met as...
