26 | thantophobia

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TW : self-harm and mentions of  suicide and death

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TW : self-harm and mentions of  suicide and death

TW : self-harm and mentions of  suicide and death

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

Mawar's apartment, morning.

I was a mess, my room was a mess, empty Milo cans and burnt cigarettes scattered on the floor, my pills all mixed up on my night stand.

I was going to close my eyes when my phone suddenly started buzzing. An annoyed groan left my lips as I picked it up, checking the caller's id.

Fakhri.

I immediately answered the phone without hesitation.

"Assalamualaikum, kak. Adik, Papa dengan Mama dekat hospital ni. Kakak okay ke? Doktor baru update yang... yang abang..." he paused, gathering the courage. "Abang masih tak sedar, kak." The voice from the other side of the phone spoke. "Adik... adik dah bunuh abang ke, kak?"

Fakhri has been doing all the speaking while my mouth stayed shut.

"Akak?"

"Tak tahu la, Fakhri. Akak tak tahu." I replied before hanging up the phone. I knew it was wrong. I knew as a sister I should've comforted him, reassure that everything will be okay. But no, I hung up on him when he needed me the most.

I didn't reply to any of calls and messages I received, except for the ones from Papa and Fakhri. Even if I did, I would either leave them on read or at least an 'ok.'

The dream I had last night, it just couldn't leave my mind. Some people would say it's a sign, but I hope it wasn't. I couldn't imagine losing Naim again. The only difference is that it's permanent.

It's all my fault.

Naim's in the hospital because of me.

This happened because of me.

hiraeth. | p. high councilWhere stories live. Discover now