Rin's Choice (Sesshomaru x Rin)

Morality

Sesshomaru

I don't understand why I stand outside the camp, watching Rin and Jaken, why I wonder what they'll say without me there. Perhaps my mother damaged my ability to trust more than I realized. Perhaps it's because I feel like I failed them both today, and I wonder if they'll discuss that while I'm away.

Why their opinions matter to me I find baffling. For the longest time my only companions were A-Un. I never wondered if A-Un would be disappointed in me, never wondered if A-Un thought I was weak (which, obviously, I'm not). Even after that, for decades Jaken has been with me. I've not cared whether he agrees with my choices. So why now...?

Rin.

I call to mind the tree prophet's annoyingly cryptic words, What means more, young master, her happiness, her safety, or your legacy? Know that these three things do not occur together.

A low growl escapes between my teeth. Already his prophecy seems true. She says what will make her happy is to stay with me, yet we've spent all day fleeing enemies that remain just a step ahead of my blade, enemies who blatantly dishonor me with their continued existence.

I should have killed them all the second they dared to stand against me. I should have destroyed the entire forest, should have left a wide, gaping hole to remind everyone why they kneel before me, why they do not question or tempt me into action.

But Rin was in that forest. Rin would have been in danger. And even if Jaken had gotten her out in time, Rin would have seen the monster I keep leashed, tightly control but ever straining for release.

The horror on her face, seeing me like that. Would it remind her of the wolf yokai that killed her? Would it remind her of what I am?

No. She knows what I am. She has seen me kill. She knows—

But she was a child then with a child's unfailing, all-encompassing trust. She's a child no longer. If I were human, she and I would be considered peers.

But why do I care?

The thought frustrates me because my mind blanks. This is an unfamiliar feeling to me, caring what another thinks of my... morality, I suppose is the word. Such a human concept. But then, I am considering a human's feelings.

I dig my claws into the tree I'm leaning against, frustrated with no other acceptable way to vent it. It works, though. Somehow, feeling the give of the bark and pulp remind me of my own might, of who I am.

I am Lord Sesshomaru, Beast King and Heir of the Western Lands should I choose to take the mantle of my father.

I have slain entire armies, human and yokai. I have taken on the strongest in the land and been proven the better. I have created a sword more powerful than that of my father's.

Yes, I am that Sesshomaru.

Which begs the question: why then did this group of yokai seek to harm me? They are not unknown to me, this group. They call themselves Servants of the Daiyokai, and while they opposed my father, they sided with me after his death. They claimed to be seeking the most powerful full-blooded Daiyokai to serve as their lord.

I last saw them two decades ago. What has changed since to make them turn against me? And why send so few? Do they really doubt my power?

The world tents red at the thought, and I know I need to calm myself. I am no longer a child. I cannot be like my little brother, prone to fits of childish rage (which I prefer to blame on his human side).

Breathe. Breathe.

Automatically my eyes begin searching for Rin. Ever since she joined me, something about her has had the ability to calm me, to silence the raging beast inside of me.