stage 12: a new life

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IT TAKES NARI TEN SECONDS TO REALIZE THAT SHE'S THE ONE SCREAMING. it takes her another five seconds to stop. it takes her fifteen seconds to try and control her breathing. it takes her twenty seconds to take in the faces of the scared second years around her. it takes her one hundred and sixty seconds hold the tears that were threatening to escape her eyes back successfully. it takes her ten seconds to then compose herself into the strong leader that the others were depending on thus far.

it takes her less than thirty seconds to find dani and hyewon huddled into each other in the recording booth, unsure whether to protect nari or the baby.

nari takes one look at dani and hyewon and swallows her emotions down. she stuffs them in the deepest, darkest parts of her soul and hopes that no one is there to read into just how scared she is now. she can't show fear. all she can do is hope that the second years just outside the door are able to find the solace in each other that she cannot provide for them.

"dani, i need you to find anything soft. anything. we need water, but i don't know how feasible that is. we need...we need newspapers, papers, anything that we can use to clean up and just throw out the window." nari's voice is foreign to her own self, even as she speaks. for some reason, nari cannot seem to understand why woohyun and hwisan's death is hitting her so hard. she told them what they were getting into and they probably would've died much earlier if it hadn't been for her.

and yet, the guilt and responsibility for their deaths that presses down on her shoulders seems to be too heavy for her to carry.

"i - i'm sorry. i'm alright now. please, just focus on doing your best and staying safe, hyewon," nari whispers softly when she sees hyewon looking at her with pained eyes. hyewon shakes her head, mustering the strength to offer a tortured smile.

"i can't tell if it's because i'm about to birth an entire human being soon or whatever but nari, it's alright to take help. you are not responsible for their deaths. you helped them as much as you could. you didn't hurt them on purpose," hyewon says, leaning over and squeezing nari's hand. nari manages a watery smile before turning around to wipe her tears when dani bursts through the door, carrying wads of newspaper and a neck pillow she had found one of the boys using.

"this is all i could find, nari," dani gasps and nari gets up to pat her on the shoulder.

"thank you. you've helped so much, dani," nari says and she takes some of the newspapers from her to pad the floor that hyewon was sprawled across. "do you think you can stay for this next part?"

dani doesn't even hesitate for a moment, pressing her lips into a grim smile and nods carefully. "someone's gotta be there for my girl."

"especially since the father isn't," hyewon grits out, clearly in distress from the pain in her abdomen.

"then, hyewon, i'm gonna have to have your privacy to be secondary for a couple moments, alright?" nari says, her hands respectfully at her sides. she turns back for a moment, only to see the boys pasting more newspapers to block the fading light from the setting sun to give them as much privacy as possible.

"i think they've got that covered," hyewon says through another pang of pain and nari has to take a deep breath as reality sinks in once more.

she was about to bring a baby into the world. in the middle of a fucking zombie apocalypse. she had always wanted to be a pediatrician but she definitely didn't expect her first delivery to happen like this.

"oh god, oh god, oh god. it's happening, isn't it? fuck!" hyewon groans.

fuck. it definitely was.

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