Just Breathe

Chapter 4 | Change my name to Svetlana

Chapter 4 | Change my name to Svetlana

What was I thinking? Why on Earth would I agree to that? How stupid can I be?

These are the questions I had been asking myself over and over again since Blake had driven me home.

I have just one hour left till he will come and pick me up, but instead of getting ready, I am just lying on my bed looking at a spot on my ceiling, not even blinking.

How could I say yes? I mean, two hours ago I was afraid to set foot outside my house alone and now I'm going to a fricking party? This is absolutely insane! I just want to stay home because I think I'm perfectly fine here.

I could just ask my mom to tell Blake that I went to the backyard to water the flowers and a raccoon jumped on me from a tree and left a lot of scratches on my face and almost zero hair. Yeah, I could do that!

Of course that wouldn't work because firstly - there are no raccoons around here, especially in the backyards; secondly - we don't have flowers and thirdly - my mom would never do that because I was stupid enough to tell her I had agreed to go to a party and next thing I knew was that my ears announced they would start bleeding any second and not long after that my father came in holding a baseball bat, asking where's the serial killer.

For ten minutes I felt like my mother was Sherlock Holmes, my father Doctor Watson and I was a mexican man which they caught keeping a revolver under his sombrero. They wouldn't let me go until I told them every last detail about what happened.

My mom was and is still so excited about it that she has been coming every ten minutes knocking on my door, asking me if I am ready, but every time she does so, she finds me in the same spot - in the same position. She keeps trying to make me get dressed but she always receives the same answer, and that is complete silence.

I am not even trying to make her understand that I don't want to go to the party because I know she won't, so I just keep my mouth shut.

Instead, I just stay in my bed, asking myself whether it would be a good time to start digging that tunnel to Russia that I planned with my father when I was eight, dye my hair blonde and change my name to Svetlana so no one could ever find me.

Or...I could just go to the party... *insert I-just-ate-a-lemon-face right here*

The moment I thought about it I bursted into laughter. Yeah, let's stick with Svetlana.

"I can't believe this! You're still not ready!" A voice hears from behind my back.

Here we go again!

I don't even bother to turn my head because if I make eye contact with her, she'll think I'm actually listening and nothing good can come out of that.

"Stop ignoring me young lady! Get up and go change!"

I really don't get it. What is her problem? OK, fine, I know she's becoming annoyed by seeing me all day long staying in my room, acting like a cave person, but hey, it's my decision to make not hers, so I have no idea why she keeps pushing me to do things I don't want to.

I saw enough teen movies to know exactly how this shit ends, and that's with me sitting in my own puke, drunk and all, with no life nor friends, being the clown of the event.

"Cassidy! If you keep ignoring me I swear to God I'll stay here all day, splashing you with ice-cold wat-"

OK, this really needs to stop!

"Mom! Stop it! Just stop it!" I burst, looking her in the eye for the first time since I've told her about the party.

"Can't you see I really don't want to go to that stupid thing?" I continue shouting, my eyes wide with fury - I had enough of her bullshit.