Just Breathe

Chapter 5 | Where cows are fed with marijuana

Chapter 5 | Where the cows are fed with marijuana

As Blake and I were walking down the short alley that leads from my house to the main street, I could feel my heart beating a hundred times faster than usual. And no, it is not because I'm excited, that's definitely not it. It's because I'm nervous and anxious out of my mind and when I'm like that I usually talk crap and when I talk crap I always embarrass myself so I should probably just shut up like the whole ride to the party. Hopefully, when we get there Blake will leave with some of his friends/ drinking buds/ girls or whatever; I don't really care as long as he leaves me alone.

Well, you're probably not wondering what I'm planning on doing tonight but I'll tell you anyway. I expect to stay there for like an hour tops so Blake could see I'm having the time of my life while sitting on a chair - because I don't see how anyone could have more fun than that woohoo! (note the sarcasm there) - and then, when he'll probably, hopefully be drunk or, at least dizzy and won't give a crap about me staying or not, I'll just call a cab and go home.

I know my mom will be all disappointed and sad but I really don't feel like it. Not that I ever feel like going to parties - I don't know if you have noticed, but I cannot be considered a 'regular teen' whatsoever. I didn't use to go to parties in Brooksville either and not because I didn't want to get out of the house or something (I'm not a cave person if that's what you think), it's just because I don't find anything fun or exciting in parties. Like I said earlier, it's just a bunch of horny teens who go to these kind of events to get laid and get drunk. Well, I don't dream about doing any of those two things so why go to a party?

Ivy always told me that even my grandma knows how to have fun better than me (well, yes, my grandma is a very funny and full of life lady compared to me, I'll give her that). She also used to tell me that I have no idea what I'm losing and she always had that same line: "How can you hate parties when you've never been to one? You can't know how something feels like, if you like it or not, unless you've actually tried it!". In my defence, I went to a party in 5th grade and I didn't like it at all, so if I didn't like a lame birthday party how could I like one of this wild ones that are thrown nowadays?

Yeah, well, even with Ivy's constantly pleas I never went to a party. It seems I'm just not a party person.

Even if I never want to go to events as such, I don't want to go to this one in particular because, well, I think I made my reasons obvious by now, so I won't start complaining again about it.

By the time we got to his car, which was like 10 seconds after we left my house, I felt my feet starting shaking. Really bad actually.

I don't know if you've noticed, but I am not an expert at handling my emotions. Not only nervousness or anxiety, any sort of emotion actually.

Blake unlocks his car, which I have no idea why he locked in the first place because he was like ten feet away from it, and then goes around it and opens the passenger door.

I just stand there looking awkwardly at him as he fully opens the door. Does he want me to drive or something? Because I don't think that would be a good idea. At all.

"Are you coming?" He asks with a light chuckle gesturing for me to get in.

"Oh, yeah, of course," I say starting to walk towards him, breathing a sigh of relief once I realize he doesn't want me to drive. That would've been awkward in more ways than one.

Once I'm settled and have my seatbelt is on, Blake closes the door behind me and then walks around the car and gets into the driver's seat.

When he starts the car, the radio starts as well and my ears threaten to bleed from the way too loud rock song that's playing.