Dreams Upon A Silver Pine Branch

Chapter 26: Stuck On Answers We Can't Find

The city of Hinotori has been uncharacteristically sweltering for the past couple of weeks. Helping his parents take care of yellow gerbera daisies on another one of those godforsaken hot days, Kenta could not help but wonder if the flowers could survive until the arrival of the predicted rain at the end of the month. Gerbera daisies do like a lot of sunlight, but, just like experienced gardeners know well, too much of a good thing is never a good thing at all. 

***

"Taking care of flowers is like taking care of children, in a way," his mother Shiori has always said whenever a plant died, "because there's always this fear in the back of your mind that you'll mess up and your children will blame you for it. You can shield children from the cruelty of the world all you want, but eventually, they'll find out the world's not perfect." 

"I don't like it when you talk of the world like this," Kenta would reply, "because it makes me wonder if you think I am just one of your flowers--helpless and yet feel entitled to point a finger at the one who takes care of them should things go wrong." 

Shiori would simply give her son an enigmatic smile before answering. 

"You're not helpless. I've raised you to be a strong person, just like your name. Strong as you are, however, you have limits just like flowers have different tolerance for heat and cold. The world, just like a garden, will not always be to your liking. When that happens, do you know what the surviving flowers do?" 

"They work harder?" the boy would ask back while gently fingering the dried petals of a dying flower before tossing them to the compost bin. "The flowers that survive, don't they grow more roots and try their hardest to penetrate the deepest layer of soil in search of water?" 

"They certainly do," Shiori would nod encouragingly, "but they have another trick up their sleeves. Or should I say up their stems? They store extra water in their stems for an emergency." 

"What does this have to do with raising children? Or with how cruel the world could be?" 

"Parents can't teach their children everything," Shiori would sigh, "and I can't teach you everything I wish I could, Kenta. A gardener can give their flowers the very best fertilizer and the most mineral-rich spring water, but eventually, the flowers must learn on their own how to preserve the water as needed. Nobody's teaching a flower how to do that." 

"You are afraid that I won't learn in time how to be an adult." 

"No, I'm more afraid that I'm coddling you. I'm afraid that I've always seen you as a child rather than a growing teenager negotiating the space between what's familiar and what's new. Tell me, Kenta, have I been keeping you from adventures and giving you too much attention just like an overeager gardener keeps their flowers in the shade and overwatering them to death?" 

"Oka-san, I'm very happy that you care this much about raising me right, but this extended flower-themed simile has run its course, don't you think? I'm a human, not a flower."

"Points taken. Still, though. Do you ever want me to keep my distance?" 

"If I want you to do that, you would know, Oka-san. You would know because I've never been able to hide anything from you and I'm glad that nothing is hidden from you so far because, believe it or not, it feels reassuring to know that I can go to you and Otou-san for anything." 

"But you still want me to respect your need to be alone from time to time, correct?" 

"Of course. Regardless, it's nice to know that you're there. Oka-san, I get what you're saying about gardeners not always being able to protect their flowers. It's alright, I promise. I told you that I'm a person and not a flower needing constant protection. I will learn how to be my own protector until the day comes when I will have someone else protecting me again."