Stitches in my Heart

Chapter 3

Back in the resident's lounge Alex, Morgan, Shaun and Claire were going over their notes of the transplant surgery. Claire couldn't concentrate, the bad dream and the worry of the internal meeting, kept her both restless and agitated. The always positive and composed Claire, couldn't help but let her mind overdrive itself with the worst case scenarios.

"Hello! Earth to St. Claire", Morgan said snapping her fingers two inches away from Claire's face

"What?" Claire said failing to hide the frustration in her voice.

"Uhh are you sure you still wanna be on this transplant? Because you sure as hell don't seem like you are on your A game today." Morgan went on in a monotonous tone. "I am not trying to be a b***h. Its one of the most rare surgeries, any doctor can get the chance to be a part of. Not to mention the media attention that Aoki has brought to this. We will all be under the spotlight. Melendez and Lim expect us all to be faultless"

Shaun: "It is humanely impossible for anyone to be faultless. At least 4000 surgical errors occur each year in the United States."

"We always give our 100%, and have countless times proved it in the OR", Park jumped in, in his calm and reassuring tone. He sent Morgan a *stop talking* look which was met with Morgan's squinty eyes.

Claire: "yeah, lets rehearse the steps again. First the kidneys, the liver and then the heart"

Just as they are all about to, the door opened and Neil walked in. Claire's heart rate leapt up and a rush went into her cheeks, seeing him, his intoxicating cologne filling the air-conditioned room. She watched his face closely, looking for any signs of what the meeting could have been about. But Neil was as stoic as always especially right before a major surgery. As his gaze met hers, his own facial expressions softened, and so did Claire's. For the moment, the worrying thoughts in her mind were silenced.

They all made their way to the ground floor that was littered with news and media channels, cameras and microphones as Aoki and Dr. Glassman briefed the media and the audience about the historic multi-organ transplant.

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The surgery lasted 15 hours. The clock was rounding on 3:00 am as Neil, Claire, Alex, Shaun and Morgan, went over the post-op tests and care, with the patient and his family. The patient was a 45-year-old father of two, who had suffered kidney and liver failure following his decades-long alcohol addiction. Following moments of emotional gratitude with the patient, Neil and Claire made their own way to the nurse's station to fill out the patient and donor charts. Claire saw this as an opportunity to probe him, subtly of course.

"Today was an excellent day. And you were brilliant... As usual" Claire said softly.

Neil knew immediately this conversation just wasn't going to be about Claire throwing compliments his way. His lips curved into a gentle smirk but he didn't look at her. He let her keep going. Claire nonetheless, caught on the change in his expressions.

Claire: "Why are you smiling like that?"

Neil looked up to her face, her beautiful freckled face and her green eyes that always glistened in hopeful positivity, god those eyes drove his heart crazy. "Because I am sure you don't just want to compliment me. Well, I mean I am sure you do but there is something else on your mind. Say it"

Claire scoffed lightly, it both annoyed and excited her, how well he knew her.

"Well I was just wondering if-" Claire was cut off mid-sentence with a ringing on her phone. Neil put his concentration back on filling the patient's chart.

"Hi Dash". Neil's hand unconsciously paused still for a split second, on the paper, hearing Dash's name. A sting of jealousy burst through him. He didn't understand why he felt this way. He is the one who practically ushered Claire to give Dash a chance but even then, he had battled his thoughts of jealousy. It annoyed him that his heart had trickled into such uncharted territory of feelings. Feelings he couldn't control. Did he even want to control them? Him and Claire were supposed to be platonic friends. But platonic friends don't get jealous this way do they? His jealous thoughts drowned out the phone call.

"Sure thing bye" Claire cut the call and faced back to Neil.

She noticed his expressions were soft but the smirk was gone. She didn't read anything into it.

"So how is Dash?" Neil, still focused on the patient's chart asked subtly.

"He is.. fine." Three seconds of silence created awkwardness so Claire continued, "He wanted to meet for breakfast today but I was busy, as you know. Now he wants to meet tomorrow for dinner but I just. Him and I, its not a good idea. I used to think its because of Kayla. I mean it is, but its more than that. We are better off as friends. I don't feel, that way for him."

Neil's curiosity started replacing his jealousy. "What way?" He asked, handing the chart back to the nurse and turning all his concentration to Claire.

"You know." Claire chuckled and continued "You mentioned the other day, that seeing him makes me happy and excited. It doesn't. Not like that". But seeing you does.

"Dash is a great friend. I don't have romantic feelings for him. I will never develop romantic feelings for him. You know the rush, the intensity, the excitement, the comfort of wanting to hug and never let go. I don't feel that with him." But I feel it for you all the time.

Neil didn't realise that he was holding his breath the entire time. He let out a sigh and proceeded to say something but all his usual wisdom seemed to have vanished for the moment. Maybe it was the exhausting 15-hour surgery, maybe it was his irrevocable feelings for Claire. He couldn't think clearly in the moment so all he could manage was a smile and "Go home. Get some rest. Its been a long day." He broke his gaze from her, worried that if he looked at her for a second longer, she might read right into his heart through his eyes. He walked past her but remembered that she had wanted to say something, so he turned back and asked her "You wanted to say something earlier. What did you want to?"

Claire took a couple of seconds to understand his question and then "Oh yeah that. Umm, I was just wondering what the internal meeting in the morning was about"

Neil couldn't tell her because of confidentiality purposes but didn't want to leave her unanswered so he, in his meticulous diplomatic way, said "Just some senior management discussions. Nothing to worry about." He said assuring her with a soft smile. "Goodnight. See you tomorrow Claire."