UNFINISHED STORIES

secrets i keep to myself |part 1

6th april 2022

tw/cw: there's gonna be constant deadnaming and misgendering as he ain't out yet. only warning :). unsafe binding.

"sophie! wake up!" nicks sister shouted from the door. "go away taylor." he mumbled pulling his duvet over his head.

"broo come on. we've got schoool." she shouted pulling the cover off of him. he didn't move pulling the blanket over him instead.

"girl if you don't wake the fuck up." taylor sounded pissed off. "nah i will get mum on you."

he slowly sat up and rubbed his eye.
taylor just looking at him smirking. "right get out so i can get changed then you perv."

"oooo sorry." she laughed closing the door behind her.

nick knew he wasn't this "sophie" for a long time. but he would never speak up on it.

feeling as if he himself is faking and it's just a phase. but he even had a name for himself.

everytime he got called "sophie" he wanted so scream and correct them. the same as she/her pronouns being used on him. he wanted to say something.

but he could never bring himself to. he feels trapped in this body but it's his fault. right?

i mean he should have said something. but what if it really was just a phase and-

'shit imma be late' he snapped out his gaze and stomped over to his wardrobe. he grabbed his favourite hoodie and black jeans.

now nick would usually wear a tight sports bra. however, they was all in the wash.

"fuck." he whispered to himself. no way he wasn't going to do something to flatten. that.

he pulled bandages out his bed side table and stared at them. did he really wanna do this? yeah.

he pulled his shirt off and faced the mirror. trying his best not to cry over the lumps of fat on his chest.

he wrapped the bandage round his chest without another thought. he looked into the mirror and smiled at his work.

he rushed over to his bathroom quickly getting changed and running downstairs.

"you good soph?" his mum asked when he walked in. "yeah woke up late." he laughed.

"i was trying to wake her up mum, i told you." taylor mumbled. "well she never listens," his mum turned to him. "didn't mean that."

nick laughed and grabbed his bag and put his shoes on. "right imma head off." nick grabbed his headphones and mask from the kitchen counter.

"not want a lift today?" his mum asked. "no thanks, fresh air yanno."

"weird girl." his mum laughed as he unlocked the door. "i heard that!" he shouted as he left the door.

as soon as he stepped out his smile dropped. 'how much longer can i keep this going for without going insane.'

>>>

nick walked through the school gates pulling his headphones out. he walked down the corridors to his form room.

"sophie!" karl shouted. nicks face lit up and walked over to him. nick and karl have been dating for almost 6 months now.

"hey!" nick said as he sat down. "hey, how are you?" karl asked him.

"i'm good thanks, my sister woke me up in the most annoying way this morning though. what about you?"

"i'm good. my mum was singing at my door this morning." karl laughed at the memory.

"oh god. your mum loves me." nick laughed. "i know! this morning she was like. "when's sophie coming round next" i was just like well i don't know mum"

nick laughed at his boyfriends explaining.

>>>

form time was over now and nick was walking to his next lesson, maths. what he hated!

who on earth would put maths as first period. nick sluggishly walked inside the classroom and slumped down in his chair.

"not in a good mood this morning?" george laughed. "who's idea was it to make us do maths." nick cried dramatically laying down on this desk.

"yanno school desks are said to have 300x more bacteria then a toilet." george said. nick pulled a grossed out face and sat back up.

"why do you know this?" "saw it on tiktok." george said all proud of himself. "nerd." nick muttered.

>>>

maths went by quite quickly as george and nick was messing around the whole time.

at one point george accidentally threw a ruler across the room. how it happened i've got no clue. but it did.

george and nick walked to "their table". the friend group had a special table in the canteen yanno as you do.

everyone was there as they got let out late. "hey karl your wife's here." clay laughed. "your husbands here too bitch." alex whisper shouted.

nick went and sat next to karl, he learned his head on his shoulder. "you good?" karl asked. nick nodded and leaned further into his shoulder.

"bet she's sulking because she has pe with me next." alex said loudly. "i forgot about that." nick groaned now laying across the table.

clay smacked him across the head. "sophie get your fat ass head away from me."

"my head ain't fat!" he shot up dramatically. "forehead reveal." george asked.