MORE.//XXXTENTACION

VICE CITY.

My hands moved to the movement of the wind as the window was down, me and Jah were speeding down the streets of Miami in his BMW i8, I had been over Jahsehs' house more than usual after we'd made up.

I was starting to feel bad as I would catch myself neglecting to hang out with my friends and follow through with our plans or catching myself leaving earlier and faster than usual when we're out together.

It had been a while and I had missed Jahseh a lot, I hadn't realized it. He was such a cool and caring person and with us spending every moment together we learned more and more about one another.

I was hoping that we were getting closer to being in a relationship because that's exactly where I wanted us to go. I loved being around him, getting to know him, watching his little mannerisms, watching him record, watching him write and even take care of his kid.

It was so attractive seeing how he was with Gekyume, he was gentle when need be, he was entertaining, and he was an amazing teacher. I still hadn't had the chance to meet his baby mother and I feel as though he made sure to text me to come over when he knew she was gone.

A part of me didn't like this though because I wanted to see what they're relationship was like. I wanted to be able to read her energy as well as his while they're in a room together, was there tension or was it a regular healthy co-parenting relationship.

This was important because she had to know that I was around her child as well even though Jahseh would always tell me that she knew of me and didn't mind, but, if I had a child, I wouldn't go off of my babyfather's word, I would see for myself.

It wasn't a situation for me to fully freak out over as me and him weren't together, but, it was still something I dwelled on from time to time.

"You okay ma'? You want me to stop somewhere to eat before we go back to the house?" He asked, I admired his tattooed hands gripping the steering wheel.

The car smelled of dior mens' cologne and a hint of weed as he started to smoke marijuana instead of those nasty ass newports. The weeknd played lowly through the speakers, it was a whole vibe.

"Nah..I'm still a little full from earlier. I also have leftovers...can I ask you a question though Jah.." I said. My heart started to beat a little faster as I was gaining some type of anxiety over this.

I knew this was a question I had always wanted to ask but I had no idea how I wanted to ask it. I felt that this was the perfect timing due to the fact that the vibes were right and I was way more comfortable with Jahseh now than I was before.

"Go ahead...what's on your mind." He said as he lifted my hands, placing it to his soft lips.

"What are we? Like, what's the end goal here...are we friends? Are we trying to be more than friends because I'm getting a little confused and if you're still with your baby mother then..you need to let me know." I said. As I looked at him his facial expression went kind of stoic.

It seemed like he was trying to hide it, but I could tell from the movement of his eyebrows and how his lips went stiff against my hand. He placed it down gently and let it rest lazily on his thigh as he took a deep breathe.

The car filled with silence, nothing but the music was playing, only breathing in and out. I continued to stare at him searching, longing for some type of answer. I didn't at all think that he would react like this. I didn't think he would say nothing at all.

With the fact that we had just finished going through what we went through with his ex, and all of the hanging out we had been doing, I had assumed that he was in a better position to make a better choice, but, I guess I was wrong. He still seemed confused or he didn't expect me to ask this at all.

"So...you're just not gonna answer me? I thought we were in a pretty good place an-" I began until he cut me off.

"We are..we are and I love this "place" we're in because it means a lot to me. You're someone I consider very important and you've made a great impact on my life. I love having you in my life actually, I guess I didn't think as far as what we are now..." He said.

It seemed as though he was genuinely confused and now I was too. It's nothing for someone to tell you whether they want you or not. A man knows if he wants you within the first few minutes of meeting you.

It's been months since I've known Jah and I feel as though we've made no progress. Of course we're friends, but friends don't kiss from time to time, they don't cuddle half naked at 3am when one can't sleep, they don't do things like that..

They don't do romantic and intimate things like that, it was almost as if he wanted the perks of a relationship but he didn't want the title. I have too much anxiety and too many insecurities to walk around without a title and quite frankly I was getting tired of it.

Before I knew it, we pulled into his driveway and we were both sitting silently as the car was now turned off. It was almost as if we both had so much to say but no way to convey it and I guarantee it was two different directions of conversation.

I began to unbuckle my belt and get out of the car but I felt a rough grip around my wrist, forcing me to not move. I looked over at Jah as he met my now glossy eyes.

"Imma' figure this out ma'...I don't wanna hurt you and I don't wanna get hurt ag-" he began.

"I'm not going to hurt you Jahseh, how many times are we gonna have this conversation? We made up weeks ago, I go back to work in like 2 weeks and I don't know where we are. What was all this progress for? You can't kiss me, give me money, take me out, and grab my ass, and call my phone at different times of the night for me to come be with you and then expect me to not be confused...that's fucking confusing." I said truthfully.

"All I'm asking from you is some clarity, so be real with me right here right now.." I said.

He sighed as he looked away, the grip on my wrist loosened which caused me to get out of the car, storming into the house and up the stairs to grab my things...I was done..for now...

A/N:

SO! I finally know what direction I wanna go with this story! All ya'll need to know is things are going to get a likkle toxic..BUT this is an XXXTENTACION story, it wouldn't be one without a little toxication, I mean, that's why we love these stories soo much right? Right!

Also it's exciting! (i need therapy.)

ANYWHO! Thank you all for voting and interacting, please continue to do so cause I LOVE feedback, please let me know if you guys liked this chapter because I wanna make sure you all are satisfied and happy with this book soo far

Thank you and next chapter coming soon! 

*we hit over 400 reads yaaayyyy*