MORE.//XXXTENTACION

up like insomniac.

 I was messing over my breakfast potatoes that I was sure were now cold. Me and the girls were out for brunch and I couldn't seem to focus on any of the conversation at hand, they had yet to know that I was going to see Jahseh and I didn't know how they would react.

Especially Ginger, I knew she was going to be disappointed as she was with me throughout all of the bullshit that was going on. I knew she wouldn't be pleased to hear that me and him were back in cahoots with one another, I felt stuck. I needed some way to vent about what had happened last night because it weighed on me heavily.

I was zoned out to the point where I couldn't hear Ginger snapping trying to get my attention, her hand a slight blur to my vision.

"Vanity! Vanity!" She said as she shook my shoulder making me jump. I looked over at her and mumbled a sorry as I went back to eating my food.

"Girl, are you okay? You've been a little off today...well...recently...you're pregnant?!?" Shy asked as she widened her eyes. I began to laugh but all of the girls were looking at me with serious expressions. Was I really acting THAT weird.

"No! You guys, I am not pregnant, not at all. You guys would know, that's too big of a secret to keep. Also, I love breakfast potatoes, they say if you're pregnant the foods you love you ha-" I began.

"Vanity, what's wrong. You start rambling when you have anxiety over something or something bad happened.." I hated how much Ginger knew me, the table fell quiet and I knew I could no longer keep this secret away.

"What's going on Van.." Alexis asked with concerned eyes, I took a deep breathe and mentally told myself, "fuck it",

"I've been seeing Jahseh." A groan fell over the whole table, Ginger placing her forehead into her hands and shaking her head. Alexis rolling her eyes and shaking her head, and Shy waiting for more information.

"Are you serious Vanity? I thought we were better than that, why wouldn't you tell anyone and what does this guy have you stressing over now? How long has this even been going on...I would hate it if that's who you've been blowing us off for.." Ginger said as she looked at me. Nothing on her face signaling a smile or happiness. She was dead serious.

I definitely couldn't tell her that he was the one I was canceling and leaving early to see, it was already bad enough I had him back around after all of the previous things that have happened. I'm someone who believes in second chances but, my friends, do not.

"No! No! Those were all work-related things. Phone calls, e-mails, and stuff like that." I tried my best not to ramble on and on as I didn't wanna heighten anymore suspicion.

"So what have y'all been doing? What have you been rushing off to do with this man?" Alexis asked, Ginger and Shy turned their attention back to me. Ginger with the face of a strict mom who had just found out her daughter had a boyfriend and was now looking for more information.

"I mean, nothing really. Nothing serious. We just hang out, he'll take me out to eat, or shopping. Or I just go back to his house and we talk, I swear it's never sexual." I said. The table fell quiet and I could feel how disappointed everyone was.

I hated how I had just changed the whole energy with just his name. I wish I didn't keep the secrets away from my friends, but a part of me knew I shouldn't be hanging around him which is why I kept the secret for so long.

"Listen Van, you can do whatever you please as you are an adult, you have no reason to keep secrets like that away from us. We don't care!" Alexis said as she gave me a smile and sipped on her orange juice.

"Yea! As long as he doesn't hurt you or anything like that, live yo' life girl. Don't do that shit again though." Shy said as she raised her eyebrow at me. Everyone but Ginger were making light hearted jokes about it.

Her quietness spoke volumes as she had placed herself outside of conversations and said nothing else since she had found out the news. The lady came with our checks and we paid and exited the brunch spot.

"What're we doing next? Or y'all wanna meet up later on tonight for drinks?" Shy asked as she was typing into her phone.

"Let's do it tonight, I have some errands to run with my mom, that's all she's been wanting to do since I've been back. Driving ms. damn daisy." Alexis said as she rolled her eyes, me and Shy laughed but Ginger was still quiet.

"You okay Gin, you've been madd quiet.." Shy said, Ginger shook her head yes and gave a slight smile. I knew exactly what was wrong but I didn't wanna address her reasoning for behavior in front of the other girls.

We all said our byes' and split up to our cars, I ended up getting a text from Jah.

We need to talk Vanity..... Read 12:15pm

Read 12:15pm About......

Last night...come over at 5.... Read 12:16pm

I rolled my eyes and placed my phone into my purse as I started my car, I didn't understand why I was still stuck on him either. He had embarrassed me at the studio, at his apartment, and those two times should have been it. Now he had an unconfirmed dealing with his baby mother.

I could easily leave him but it was something in my body yearning for more of him. I don't know why and I didn't know what it was, sure he had apologized and it felt genuines and I for some reason trusted he would not longer do anything bad to me since I had done nothing to him.

My phone began to buzz again. I looked down to see it was 2 notifications from Ginger, my heart began to race as I was a schoolgirl who had just been caught keeping weed away from her mom and she found it.

Ginger was very outspoken and was never afraid to tell me the truth so I had no idea what this was going to be about, nothing good for a fact.

A/N: HELLO! Another update! So, I'm aiming for over 20 chapters of this book, so I really hope that you guys like this chapter. Thank you for interacting, there's so much more to come and I can't wait for you guys' to read! As always comments, opinions, advice is always welcomed.