MORE.//XXXTENTACION

Very Rare Freestyle Pt.2

We were at the front of the venue. 

Eyes directly on the stage. I felt as though I had to have been only inches away from just touching him when he came out. 

The club wasn't a super small club, but with the way it was packed out, it felt like a mere box. Avas' connect ended up being Trunks whom gave me and my friends a great tight hug which caused Ava to raise a few eyebrows not knowing that last year he was one of the ones' who lead us to Jahs' first show. 

I ended up giving her an excuse saying that he was a regular in the Starbucks I used to work at as I wasn't quite comfortable with sharing my connection to them yet. As Trunks seemed happy to see us I had only hoped that was an extension of Jahseh. 

It was another 20 minutes before the club went completely black which caused mayhem to erupt. I heard loud screams, seen white girls on the shoulders of other attendees trying to get a better view. 

The club was decked out with fans of all colors, ethnicities, and backgrounds. It was a beautiful site to see the people that he had impacted in real time. Seeing so many people come out and support this one person who had made such an impact on their lives, they had genuinely loved him so much. 

I couldn't be anything but happy for him as I know he had worked hard to get to this point here. 

A black screen showed images of static and naked women as it then spaced out into his name. 

"XXXTENTACION"

The beat to "Very Rare Freestyle" came on and screams erupted. I began bopping my head to the familiar beat as I watched him come out with his entourage. He was shirtless with his sculpted and tatted stomach on full display. 

He had on his signature red basketball shorts that went a little past his knees as he wasn't too tall, his Calvin Klein boxers poking out and an iced out diamond cuban wrapped around his neck. His outfit was super simple, as though he had rolled off of the couch and came here. 

That was what made people draw to him even more, he was super authentic and he never tried to hide who he really was which was a blessing and a curse. People loved him for him, but, he didn't really love himself just yet, the silent struggles only I had known about. I had only hoped he had gotten better. 

The song began and the crowd screamed the lyrics back to him just as they were coming from his own mouth. All I could do was admire him, in that moment he was in a complete trance. He was in his own zone. 

I was happy to see that he had found comfort in the stage, the stage was now his form of peace and a new outlet for him. 

Throughout the hour long show I didn't even pay much mind to songs..just him. I knew every song word for word and I so badly wanted to drunkenly scream them out with Ava, but, I felt I had to keep it cool for the fact that I had history with him and my fiends knew. To them, I cut off all contact and communication which was true. 

Little did they know, I was at least 2,000 of those streams going towards the bills that he has to pay. 

As the show came to an end he neared the ledge of the stage as he interacted with the crowd, his crew blocking the fans from basically trying to pull at his bare skin. As he scanned we locked eyes for a quick second until he looked back at me. 

It seemed as though he was about to furrow his eyebrows in surprised of seeing me but realized he was still on stage. I couldn't help but swallow the lump down my throat, my insides were beginning to get hot and not in a good way but in a fight or flight way.