The Oh So Mind Boggling Tales of Ms. Sarcasm and Sherlock

Chapter Four

He turned to me with a slightly confused look donned upon his face, and a smile at the thought of the possibility of what answers he could get out of me. The next words he spoke were almost chuckled out of his mouth. 

"Okay, shoot." He smirked. 

"Why does glue not stick to the bottle?" I asked, smirking at his befuzzlement. At that, he stared blankly up at me as is trying to say telepathically What the Hell?!?! Laughing, I told him to ask up if wasn't going to answer anytime soon.  

"Fine then!" He responded with a dramatized huff. "If you were to be any species of dog, which would it be?" He gave me a curious glance, smirking once again, as if to say Ha! In your faces sucker. 

I stuck my tongue out at him before smugly answering. "A Saint Bernard" His jaw dropped at the fact that I had a proper response, but whatever I thought. 

"May I ask why?" Curiosity oozed from his tone, but I chose to ignore it with a simple inquiry. "What's your favorite tv show?" The simplicity was due to me wanting at least one of my numbered questions answered. Twenty questions... how do you get to know a guy you just met with just twenty questions? Well, I was going to have to find a way. Grrr. 

His cheeks turned bright red as he mumbled something that sounded like "Sesame Street." Once I was sure that that was what he had said, I ended up falling of the bed I was sitting on and painfully onto my side while hysterically laughing. All I could manage to squeeze out between laughs was "Seriously?!?!" 

Embarrassed enough, he spoke, loud enough for the human ear to hear this time. "Alright, alright. That's enough. I get it. I'm..." Deciding that he had had enough trouble from me for the moment, I chose to give him a little reassurement. "It's alright dude, don't worry, but wow!" 

As soon as his cheeks faded back to their normal olive tone, he asked me the sneakiest question ever. That ass! "What word starts with the letter 'f' and ends with 'u-c-k'?" I said the obvious and he gave me that irritatingly familiar smug smirk of his as he informed of the correct answer. Since when did 2o Questions have right and wrong answers. Huff! "Fire truck, smart one." 

This is where I showed my wild side and grrr-ed out loud at him. After he stared at me like I should be caged and tamed for enough time, the spontaneous, and random as could be words came out. "Are you dyslexic?" Hey, I was just wondering; there's nothing wrong with that, right? 

Blushing once again, he confirmed my reasonless doubt. That's what I call luck! "So, as it's now my turn, tell me the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you. I know it's not the most original question, but you seem like a quirky girl, so maybe I'll get a quirky answer."  

As I was trying to think of what to say, I looked around his room, finally taking in my surroundings. I see a few picture frames showing him with a girl, who looks to be his sister, plenty of them and their mother, some of him with his friends, but none that look like his father. Hmm. Other than that, his room was quite normal, with the exception of the glow in the dark bean bag, which was just cool.  

Reluctantly, I say, "When I burnt my nose, don't even think of asking how, and I had to go around school looking like Rudolf for a week. It was just awful, especially since it was two weeks into December. Oh that was just fun!" I swear I could feel little droplets of sarcasm falling on my lap. "Okay, so how does alphabet soup work for you if you're dyslexic? Doesn't it just ruing the experience?" 

Once again, we both found ourselves laughing at this, but not so vehemently. "I have no clue; I've never had it before... I guess it would be a bit weird..." His expression said that he is trying to envision this, but he looked completely constipated, so I pulled out my suave iPhone 5, complete with a cool case (check out the awesomest case on Earth in the external link) and clicked a picture before he could register what I was doing. "Then I guess I'll have to feed you some sometime" Smirking after getting over my shock, I await his next question with a bit of dread. What if he asks something personal? Then what do I do? 

Luckily, instead of a much dreaded personal question, he asked the stupidest, but most mind boggling question I'd ever heard of. "Which way would the water in a toilet spin if it is exactly on the equator?" To this, I had no answer. Once again, I hmpf-ed at him, and he gave his famous, heart chuckle. Smiling, I continued with the game, learning that his favorite movie was Step Up. Surprise, surprise; who could have guessed that the dancer boy likes Step Up? 

When he asked me about my favorite mall, all I could think was Who do you think I am? A girl? Ew no! And gave him an extremely smug answer of "The National Mall". When he gave me a blank look and a curious "What?!?!", I replied with "I hate shopping and I love D. C. Oh the memories!" A reminiscent grin filled my features. 

I learnt that one summer he and his sister had gotten a water balloon launcher from their parents, and they had accidentally launched one in the wrong direction. It flew through their neighbor's drawing room window, in which they were seated, unexpectantly, eating their breakfast, like a normal Sunday morning. The balloon had enough force to destroy the window, send shards of glass flying everywhere. They really were a troublesome pair. In return, he learnt, thanks to a return of the 'favorite memory' question, that my brother and I once lit our porch on fire, with the help of a couple of our cousins. We had decided it would be really cool to sneak out at midnight, when all our parents were fast asleep, take a few cans of my brother's Axe and a bottle of my Purell hand sanitizer and make pretty patterns on the wood-lined, stone porch, and light them on fire with my older cousin's lighter. It was fun for the time being until my mom woke to the smell of the smoke and flipped out at us. We were screwed. 

Getting on with the game, I asked about his craziest day, and his answer was completely unexpected. Who would have guessed that his sister braided pink streaks into his hair, with was full of braids, and got him into a pair of 6 inch stilettoes? 'Not I' said the girl. It didn't end at that. Apparently, she squeezed him into a lacey, red, C sized bra, with peeked through the strapless dress he was wearing, filled it with marshmallows. After his legs were shaped and a fresh thong was donned upon his booty, they headed to a party. He claimed to have been ground upon by several very oblivious men and women. Now that's a unique experience! I'll have to try that on my brother... Grinning evilly, I let him continue on with my interrogation. He asked the most embarrassing question I could have ever been asked. "I'm scared of ducks. There's no word for it, because very few people are, but the closest guess would be anatinphobia?" My cheeks were scarlet while he looked at me as if I were a madman. Of all the questions, why that one???  

After that, the questions were quite normal, with the exception of a few, but I learnt a lot about him. What it was that I learnt from this oh so mysterious guy, I will reveal to you in the near future *insert smug look here*.

@&@&@&@&@&@ 

So, if you want to know more about Anders, stay tuned for the next chapter. Tell me what you think, and please stick with me here!