Quiet as Kept

THATS JUST MY BD

Crystal gathered her purse and the sonogram pictures leaving the doctors office. She was upset and couldn't relish in joy because she was hurt and it pained her the reality that she was now facing. Crystal wanted to call Devale back especially since he had blown up her phone non stop but she needed to think about the news she received from her doctor as well as Khadeen. Devale was expecting two babies with two different woman and that was a lot. Not to mention that her baby would be the one hidden the secret the one the world would shame and discredit. Crystal had gone into this "Situationship" on lust and desire of the body. Never grasping that her mind along with her heart would soon follow. She fell for a man a married man at that who completely captivated her soul. Whose presence raised her breathing levels making her feel as if she'd taken an adrenaline shot. A man who could wrap her body up and roll her into positions she wasn't even aware her body was capable of doing.

A man who kissed her and sent chills throughout her body making her hairs stand up causing goosebumps to form along her arms and legs as butterflies took flight in her stomach while her heart beat would race and plastered on her face was a kool aid type of smile. Her legs would grow weak and all intellectual thinking of her own would deplete replaced with whatever Devale saw fit in that moment and her only reply would always be a solid YES to him. A man that still had her giddy like a kid going to a amusement park for the first time. A man who could make her motivating her or break her day with rejection or a decline with just his words. Never expecting to fall in love let alone be with child for a married man she knew she could never fully have, the man she loved more than life itself. She had accepted second place in his life, last on his list of love and now that reality would be the same for her child after his other five. Crystal knew she couldn't face Devale until she knew completely where she stood with the decision of her pregnancy. She was fearful of the potential rejection from him and she couldn't usher herself into anymore pain than she currently felt.

Alone was how she felt she didn't have anyone and that truth was making her sick to her stomach. Before she knew what hit her Crystal was overcome with a nauseating feeling as she gasped and heaved loosing all the contents of her stomach right in front of the doctors office. At last Crystal felt as if she had thrown up everything she had ever eaten or drank and she fished in her pocket book to retrieve some tissue. Wiping her mouth she pulled her cellphone out ordering a rideshare as she glanced around to see if anyone had seen what just happened. Deciding to have a seat to try and calm her nerves she couldn't help but glance at the pictures in her hands as she looks at the baby plastered on every last one HER BABY. Excessively blinking as the tears she's been fighting to hold inside began to spill out of her eyes cascading down her face and the strength she needs to fight has surrendered to the overwhelming rush of emotions that begin to rock Crystals body leaving her frantically sobbing; until her phone chimes alerting her the rideshare is here. Scurrying to get home she jumps into the rideshare as the tears continue to fall requesting that the driver turn the music up and just leave her alone. Which he agrees too. Crystal begins to wonder if she could even do right by this baby when she was already failing by not even knowing it existed. Although, she knew her baby was made in love she questioned would her love alone be enough to raise it.

Twenty five minutes later Crystal has exhausted all her energy along with every tear she could make in her self-pity loathing.  Noticing that the ride share is about to pull into her development Crystal begins to gather her things dropping the sonogram she leans over and as she picks it up she looks up and sees Devale she quickly looks the other way hoping he didn't see her. Pulling up to her home she quickly exits the rideshare rushing in the house leaving all lights out as she heads to her bedroom dropping her purse to the floor holding on to the sonogram she lays on her bed and let's all emotional baggage out through her tears with no restrictions and a piercing scream that exits her mouth until exhaustion takes over her and she closes her eyes to sleep.