Say Goodbye

I've Always Had To Fight

The Drake Hotel
Chicago, Illinois
Saturday, September 14, 2003
(5:00 pm)
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"People are not going to get 'Murrow Turning Over In His Grave'. You're being an asshole for even playing such a thing."

Stevie was halfway down the hallway past the elevator on Lindsey's floor when she heard the deceptively sweet voice of Kristen Buckingham coming from her husband's room. The door was wide open, she noticed, quickly realizing it was in an effort to keep an eye on Will and LeeLee, who had been engaging in a Razr scooter race through the hallway. Stevie could see the two children, each a clone of their same-sex parent, barreling down the hallway towards her, but not before she heard Lindsey's voice, loud and clear, and he was not happy.

"Give me more shit to be nervous about, why don't you?" he hollered,forgetting the open door. "I'm already concerned about fucking up 'Red River' live and your amateur critiques aren't helping me here!"

"What did I tell you before I came here, Lindsey? I'm pregnant, I'm miserable, I have to pee every five minutes, my boobs hurt...this is not the time to fuck around and find out, okay?"

"Whose fault is that, Kristen, huh? Tell me, whose fucking fault is that?"

"I swear to God, one more dig at me or this baby and I'm on the next plane home, and you explain why your wife isn't in the audience of your ridiculous concert for a network no one watches anymore!"

Lindsey didn't miss a beat as he said, "As God is my witness, Kristen, I will help you pack."

Stevie stood frozen in the hallway two rooms away, wondering when two little kids who loved her would see her from down the hall and yell out her name, giving her away. She didn't have to wait long for the answer, as she heard the wheels of two scooters on the carpet approaching her and the unmistakable sound of Will telling his little sister, "Aunt Stevie is here! Aunt Stevie is here! Look, LeeLee, look!"

"Look, Aunt Steebee, I go fast!" LeeLee's tiny voice echoed through the hallway as she sped alongside her brother towards Stevie. Stevie quickly put away her shocked expression at Lindsey and Kristen's obvious vitriol and smiled at the two little extensions of Lindsey that she loved despite the fact that their presence kept him away from her.

"Look at you guys! You can really go fast on those things!" Stevie bent down to hug a child in each arm, still attached to their scooters. "Hey Will, is that a new scooter? It's not the same one I saw in Ohio; it's way cooler!"

"Daddy got it for my birthday!" Will exclaimed. "I'm five now! Did you I'm five?"

You have no idea, kid, she wished she could say. Instead, she said, "I certainly do! Did your dad give you the big Lego set I sent you for your birthday?"

"Yes! And I built a car, and I built a spaceship, and I built a boat, but then LeeLee took it apart."

Stevie smiled, listening to this tiny carbon copy of Lindsey explain his Lego creations, and all she could hear was a twenty-year-old man hitting record to begin taping his band playing a Buffalo Springfield song...

"Stevie? If anyone wants to sit here on the floor, that would be cool."

"You took apart his boat, Lee?" She turned her attention to the three-year-old blonde girl on a pink scooter. "What for?"

LeeLee held her fingers over her smile, caging her giggles. "It's LeeLee, Aunt Steebee!"

Stevie smiled, knowing LeeLee was hoping to engage her in their usual game, which left both children giggling like hyenas every time. She bent over and cupped her right ear with her hand as if she struggled to hear, and said, "What is it? LeeLeeLee? Or LeeLeeLeeLeeLee?" She reached out and hugged the little girl who was laughing as well as her big brother, and then began to tickle her belly in a navy blue sundress while she laughed, saying, "LeeLeeLeeLeeLeeLeeLee..."