𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬; 𝙰𝚚𝚞𝚊 𝙷𝚘𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚘

𝟎𝟎𝟏

Rebirth.

It's such a weird term isn't it? I mean, you die, but then you're born again as a completely different person. It's like a second chance the world and God gave you. 

Until a few days ago, I believed neither in rebirth nor in second chances. Both were ridiculous things for me.

To many, rebirth may sound like a wonderful thing. Wow, I can start all over again and get my life in order and pretend to be gifted and die as an old man making loads of money with a hot blonde wife next to him! You may think this way and think that you will live your life happily ever after.

I don't blame you. I thought so too. But believe me, I speak as someone who has experienced it, that nothing is that easy and beautiful.

Because you had to die to be reborn. Death wasn't a good thing either, as long as it wasn't painless. If you are a lucky person, maybe as an old person, with your grandchildren and children by your side, you can die peacefully and happily and breathe your last breath.

But I have never been lucky in my life. Naturally, my death was not a pleasant experience either.

First of all it was unexpected, you can't guess how or when will that happen. Isn't that the most frightening thing? Not knowing what will happen when, having no control over the event, and the fact that life drags you along the way it wants has always frightened me deeply. I didn't think my death would be like this. Frankly, I never thought about my death. Sometimes I thought like  "oh, how terrible." but after two seconds later I went on with my life.

Now I'm thinking, I wish I had thought so at least I'd prepared myself.

I was on my way of home as usual. I was going to get some supplies for my school and go home. I was mature for my age, so my priority in life has always been school. For this reason, I lived without friends for a long time. But who cares, at the end of the day, I'd be their boss, and I'd be enjoying their painful, regretful faces.

It was a brutal fantasy, but it was enough to get me to study. Since studying is a good thing, it was okay for me to think that way, right?

Answer is no. Don't think so. God could punish you when you didn't even realize it, and the worse your fantasies the more you will suffer. I'm proud of myself for not wishing for them to die because I don't even want to imagine what my end will be.

Anyway, as I said, I was going on with my life as a normal girl with a normal life and returning home. Being a young girl hanging out at home alone, I naturally had a few hobbies that I did at home and had to pass the time.

As you can imagine, watching anime and reading manga was one of them. On the way home, I'd grab a nice manga on my way (preferably Attack on Titan or Death Note) and return home to my same but safe life. It was very simple, everything had to go on as usual.