The Little Things

Dance of Desire

The Dance Of Desire (Bonus Chapter)

Vader's Dream / Anakin's Obsessions of the Mind

–

Oh ma douce souffrance
Pourquoi s'acharner? Tu recommences
Je ne suis qu'un être sans importance
Sans lui, je suis un peu paro

Oh my sweet suffering
Why do you attack incessantly?
I am just a being without importance
Without it, I am a bit lost

Une dernière danse
Pour oublier ma peine immense
Je veux m'enfuir que tout recommence

A last dance
To forget my immense pain
I want to run away, for everything to begin again

–

Darth Vader closes his eyes and lets his dreams take him away to a dark night on Tatooine.

He remembers the feeling that encompasses him, how much he wanted to play with fire back then as he crept through the village of the Tusken Raiders. It was only a matter of time until he was burned. He had suppressed so many of his volcanic urges, he was bound to watch them bubble up sooner or later. And they did boil over, in all ways, from all sides when he could no longer cope. And he was hooked from the very first drop – dipping his toes in a torrent of temptation. Quenched by the relief of getting what you want, be it revenge, power, the restlessness of lust.

He approaches the first tent and feels a familiar sense of indulgence as he taps into an egomaniacal state.

Not dissimilar from the all-consuming hunger he finally fed the first time he made love to Padme.

Anakin takes his first steps into Padme's bedroom in the Naboo lake retreat. She's standing there with a sense of gaiety, looking like an angel in her white lace wedding gown with myriad pearl seed details and sheer sleeves. She is love, glamour, charm with an allure, where sensuality is explored, where all the senses come to life, making him feel oceanic – in a sea of unpredictability, liberation, where anything is possible – like he has raised to a higher state of consciousness, euphoria seeping out of every pore as he trembles with excitement. Life is opening up for him as he is about to be subject to, for the first time, the true vibrations of getting your heart's desires.

He strides towards her as she pulls off her veil. His fingers reach for her, leaving a palpable trail along the sides of her neck – it is sensual, feminine, too delicate to touch. It felt like he was breaking the law to cradle such a vulnerable part of her because it made him feel so full, so greedy, like he had something valuable in his hands that he was never going to give up. His lips find hers and the tip of their tongues touch. He scoops her hair off the back of her neck and overpowers her with a voluptuous kiss, inhaling as much of her as he could like she was a zesty wine. His hands possess her body, down her sides, outlining her curves, gliding down her thighs. To touch the one you love felt like landing on the moon – you're unstoppable. He scrunches up the lace material of her dress in his fists, dissipated, dying to unite their heartbeats, febrility, and dreams as he lifts her skirt above her hips.

He lifts open the tent flap and he is quivering for a release of all his pent-up anger and frustration. He aims his lightsaber behind two of the sand people and feeds a voracious void as he slashes both of them, wanting to treat them as callously as they treated his mother. He has no compassion to look at them as living, breathing beings and he was ready to lose his own humanity if it meant he would now have the chance to take control and fix what they broke. He can now unshackle himself from the restraints placed on him all his life, no one can hold him back anymore. He is about to experience a flagrant freedom – and it feels so good to finally give into revenge.