Fallout ~ Danisnotonfire, AmazingPhil

Everyone Thinks That We're Perfect

Two weeks later

*Dan's P.O.V*

Dan and Phil games has to he the biggest lie yet. Somehow the audience are convinced 'it's our truest selves' or 'there's no script it's just us playing games'. I wish. I really do.

But the truth is it's far from it. For an hour every now and again I have to sit next to Phil, I have to force a smile, I have to make to act like everything's fine, I have to act like I that moment there's not a thing going on in my mind.

Well there is. There most certainly is something running through my messed up mine. And it's telling me everything we're doing is wrong. That I'm not practising what I preach. Because whilst people may say 'Dan inspires me' and whatever other shit they wanna cone up with most of those quotes plastered across various websites mean nothing to me anymore.

'Do what ever you have to do to be happy'.

Well I can't. I can't just make Phil forget the past few years. I can't just erase every mistake I've made over our friendship. Right now, I'm being forced to live with it. And you know what?

I give up.

What's the point in living a life where your constantly miserable, where all you do is let people down. A life where all you are is a figure for others to make fun of or relate to. All of a sudden your no longer human. Your just a thing. Even if it's a popular thing it doesn't have emotions. Nobody cares about those emotions you bury deep down. And you can claim you have a private life but you don't. The world can find out anything they want by simply googling it. All your details are out there on the internet. Like a product in a shop. Your tagged with labels, you have a description. There are ratings or comments left on your flaws or your beauties. Your no longer a human being.

Maybe Phil escaped the harsh reality. He's had a certain aspect to him which makes you think it was all an act after all. Because really who acts that stupid in public? Who actually goes out there way to prove they are the less intellectual one?

Phil has.

I use to think it was cute. Back then when we would enjoy evenings together, snuggled up on the sofa watching Death Note. When we filmed videos together there was real excitement in our eyes at the thought if collabing. Even the way we'd look at each other mid-filming made my heart explode.

I suppose that means its true 'nothing lasts forever'. It's a shame really, but life really sucks sometimes.

"Dan, we need to get to the studio." Phil yells at me through the walls.

"One minute!" I snap back wiping tears from my eyes.

I jumped into the bathroom to check I'd pass any suspitions. My eyes were still splodgey but I'd be fine once I reach the studio. As I scanned down I winced at the state my body was in nowadays. No one had noticed, yet. Underneath the clothes and the walls I have been forced to create no one knows what happens underneath. Everyone thinks that we're perfect. God knows what would happen if they found out what happened behind the cameras. I grabbed a baggy jumper and went out into the real world.

The cab journey was painful. The silence was peircing. Phil tended to advoid any eye contact by staring aimlessly out the window. I gulped and looked out at the normal people enjoying an average Monday afternoon.

"Here you go lads." The cabbie smiled turning around to look at us.

"Thanks " I smiled handing him the cash.