ೃ⁀➷ i wish i could live without you ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ // a south park fanfic

: ̗̀➛ this is why i dont go to parties ☄. *. ⋆

(art above not mine!!! also halfway through writing this i was like, "hmmmm maybe this is the party stan went to!!" immaculate plot, i know)

TW: f slur (like a lot) (can reclaim!!)

Kyle's POV

Man, I hate parties.

I always get invited, but I never go to them. But Cartman was all like, "B-but KYELLLLL, I'll be LONELYYYYYY!!!" 

So basically, he guilted me into coming.

It's only been what, like, 3 hours? Yeah, it's only been 3 hours, and Stan and Wendy broke up and got back together within the span of 20 minutes, Clyde tried flirting with Bebe, Bebe hit Clyde with her shoe, Kenny made fun of Cartman, Stan made fun of Cartman, I made fun of Cartman, now that I think about it, a lot of people made fun of Cartman, and everybody, myself included, is fucking out of it. 

Right now, I have no idea what's gonna happen next, but it's either gonna be really fucking funny, really fucking annoying, or both.

Suddenly, Cartman stumbles over to me and sits down next to me. 

"What do you want, fatass?"

"Dont call me fat, Kyel! It's super homophobiccccc!!!"

"I dont think you know what homophobic means."

"Yeah I do! It means you're scared of houses or some dumb gay shit."

"...what."

"Yeah, dude! Scared of homes! HOME A PHOBIC!!! DUH!!!!"

Then, the wildest thing happens.

Eric Cartman puts his head on my fucking shoulder.

"Kyelllllllll... I wanna go hooooooooooooooooooommmmmeeeeee!" Cartman's whining is starting to get to me.

"Dude, shut up. You sound like some faggy emo bitch."

Cartman feigns surprise, "Kyel!! You can't say fag!"

"I'll have you know that I have special permission to say fag."

Cartman stops and looks at me for a second, then gasps.

"YOU'RE GAY?!?!"

"You aren't? Loser."

"Hey!! And I am!"

"Wait, deadass??"

"Yeah, and I've had a crush on you since like, 4th grade, man."

And believe me when I say my face is as red as my hair.

Eric sits up next to me and starts to lean in before stopping himself.

"...Can I?"

"Go wild."

Eric gives me a quick peck on the lips and pulls away quickly, blushing and burying his face in his hands. He looks up at me, obviously nervous.

My gaze softens, "I love you too, Eric," I give him a tender kiss then stand up and reach my hand out to him.

"Wanna ditch this place?"

"So bad."

And so, we run back to my car, giggling like idiots the whole way there. When we get there, Eric picks me up and spins me around, which surprises me because I'm a good amount taller than him.

"Sooooo... Are we like, a thing now?" I ask.

"Of course, love."

Kissing each other while drunk isn't exactly how I planned to meet my dream man, but I'll take it.

Maybe, just this once, I'm glad I went to a party.

(omg i loved writing this! so yeah, kyman is an established relationship throughout this book! also this was supposed to be a lil flashback to the party that was mentioned last chapter, but i dont know if it came off that way.)