SUSANNA

23| MY FREEDOM WAS NEVER THEIRS

Susanna sat in the sand with her arms around her knees in the furthest corner. The door opened. She lifted her head. It was Angela. It was not feeding time. She carried no water. No bucket. No change of clothes. The two women stared at each other as she tarried at the closed door. Susanna put her head back on her knees.

'My master sold me to the Commander about two years ago. That is how long I have been under the protection of master van Riebeeck and his wife,' she heard Angela say.

'What do you want?' Susanna did not lift her head.

Angela took a few steps closer. 'What I want no slave can give to me.' If she took a few more steps, she could touch Susanna who was poking holes with her fingers in the sand.

She got up. 'I am not in the mood for the games you van Riebeeck women play. Take your tricks with you and tell your master the one-ear slave is ready to die without the games.'

'I saw your back.' Angela bit on her lips and averted her eyes to the ground, away from the aggression towards her, evident in Susanna's demeanour.

'I trust you and your friend found delight in your labour. A beautiful piece of art work, is it not. You and your friend must be proud.'

'That is why I am here.'

'Nobody makes it past those soldiers without permission. Or instruction. Which brings you here? Permission? From whom? Instruction? To do what?'

'A request... I requested to see you. Permission was granted.'

'To trap me? Again?'

'I am not here to trap you.'

'If you like the name your master gave you, good for you. I am not about to tell you that you were born with your own. I am not going to talk ill of your good masters. I am tired. I want to close my eyes and never wake up. This is your chance. Make up something, anything, and run to them. Go! Leave!'

'You have been through a lot. Your ear. Your back. This...'Angela cast her gaze over Susanna's surroundings.

'There is no space on my back for another whipping... If you lie this time, make sure I am executed.'

'Your pain... and the many deaths of fellow slaves outside the fort cause fear. In all of us. In Catrijn and Maria too.'

'Then tell me why would one slave, your friend Catrijn, conspire against another and bring her more pain? Explain that to me...'

'You have a flaw. A most destructive one.'

'We all have flaws. What's new.'

'That is true. But you? You judge. Very easily. You judged Catrijn whose pain and suffering you know nothing about. And you made assumptions about Maria whose story you have no knowledge of.'

'And because I judged, and I made assumptions about them I deserved to be stripped naked... tied to a tree and the skin peeled off my back... left for the wild animals to devour. In the middle of winter...' Susanna wiped the tears from her cheeks.

'No. You did not deserve that... but we are all slaves. We all suffer. We all want our freedom... maybe in unusual ways. Ways you might not like. Or understand.' Their eyes met. 'Freedom has a cost. For all of us.'