SUSANNA

27| BEFORE YOU LEAVE

The Commander's term of office was at an end. There were pressing issues on his mind as he stared at the letter in his hand. Maria, who had not set foot outside the confines of her quarters and the rest of the fort for months, listened to her husband's pacing in the room. She got up.

'You are pacing again... what is wrong, husband?' She pulled her gown tighter.

He threw his hands into the air and cursed under his breath. 'Everything. The death of Harwarden. He was one of my most loyal men. Left a hole in the Councils of Justice and Policy. Who shall fill those boots?'

'What happened about the wachtmeester who showed so much promise?'

'Someone whispered in the Company's ears about Pieter's inappropriate affair with Catrijn.'

'You are still in charge. Write to the Company. Tell them you are appointing Everaerts.' She pulled her face at his glass and the half-empty bottle on his desk. 'Is that the only cause for the brandy?'

'No.'

'Speak husband. You will be the cause of my death if you pursue with this unbearable suspense one second longer.'

'I received news of my successor. Zacharias Wagenaer.' He took the letter knife and stabbed it into the letter in front of him. Then he lifted the knife with the letter into the air and held it out towards her.

She ignored it. 'Anyone we know?'

'No. Some unknown merchant who plays with maps and clay.'

Her face broke into a broad smile. 'Why such gloom? That is the best news that fell from your lips in ten years.' Her hand was already on the doorknob. She paused before she opened it. 'I must prepare myself. I must pack.' She walked up to him. 'Oh, Jan. I am-' She threw her hands into the air in a prayer-like gesture, her head upwards. 'I am writing to my parents. Tonight still. They will be delighted.' She headed out of the door before he could stop her.

He heard her somewhere down the passage summoning the slaves. The Commander stared at the closed door and removed the letter from the knife. He scoffed at his inability unable to kill the flame of his wife's rare exhibition of sheer joy and energy.

When he finally stepped out of the confines of his office he found Maria giving orders to Lijsbeth, Cornelia and Angela. 'Can we talk?'

'I was reassigned to Batavia,' he said and closed the bedroom door behind him.

'Batavia?'

'I decided to settle in Batavia.'

'But... I thought. I thought we were going home. It had been ten years, Jan. I sacrificed ten years of my life for you in this... this place.'

' I know, and I'm grateful. If it was not for you-'

'I cannot do it anymore. Do you not see us? Me? Abraham' She grabbed his hands and searched his eyes. 'Look at me, Jan. I was a young, carefree woman when I came here. I had strength to do this. For you. But this place got to me, Jan. It weakened me. Their darkness are consuming my light...' She looked at him. There is fear in her eyes. 'We must leave. Let us go home. That is where we belong.'

He freed his hand from her grip. 'The Company is sending me to Batavia. I accepted.' He left the bedroom and returned to his study.

Seated behind his desk he looked at the statistics of the settlement. He had reached the end of his term and he had much to smile about. He was the Commander who created a flourishing Dutch Colony in a period of ten years. His legacy, under his 134 hand-picked officials was in good hands. Who cares if van Goens had queries about the decline of the slave numbers? He dragged his attention away from the document when there was a knock. The door opened. It was Krotoa. 'I did not call for you. Leave. I am busy,' he said, eyes on the document.