How could you forget?

Part thirteen

"Sure, what is it?" I asked, concerned.

"First of all, what's with all of the makeup? I let it go yesterday, but again? I wanted you to take it off yesterday as soon as I saw it. You honestly look so much better without it," Niall wondered.

"I just wanted to see what you would say about it. If you would say something or think I looked better," I responded.

"No, you look so much better without it, you look fake when you have all that on," he told me.

"Thanks, but I think a little makeup is fine. With that much I feel like I need a whole bottle of soap to get it all off," I grinned.

"It wouldn't bother me if you didn't wear any. But what you used to wear was fine," Niall said.

"Next, I'm so, so sorry," Nialler apologized.

"For what? What happened?"

"I'm sorry I didn't get in contact with you when we were younger. It's my fault you felt like you didn't have any friends. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry," he said.

"Nialler," I started.

"No, it's my fault, all of it. I could have done so much more to get you back. I was so stupid not to."

"Ni,"

"I wanted to so badly. I should have, but I didn't. It was so freakin' stupid of me not to. It was selfish. I didn't think about what you might be going through and-"

"NIALL JAMES HORAN!!" I exclaimed, finally getting his attention. "It's okay. Don't beat yourself up about it. It's done. It's over. You did nothing wrong. How were you suppose to know all the crap I was going through? I could have done the same. Well actually, I did get your number in 7th grade," I replied.

"Why didn't you call?!" He exclaimed.

"You were the only friend I had that never back stabbed me. I couldn't bare losing the sweet memories we had and the one thing I could dream about. I was scared it wouldn't be the same. I couldn't do it," I said.

"I would have been ecstatic to hear from you! We would have been whole to arrange things to see each other. But I understand that sometimes when you really care about something or someone, it's better not to know what might happen. I made the selfish decision not to call you too though. I was afraid that you probably had a boyfriend and I would look like an idiot that still had feelings for someone who forgot all about me," he explained.

"I felt like that too. Like the desperate loser who needed someone in a different country to talk to because I had no friends. I'm sorry too. I just have seen how someone who was your best friend can change. The girl I was best friends with for years, really hurt me. Freshman year, she had missed 3 days of school and I started to wonder why. Someone said she was in the hospital because of something wrong with her stomach. So that day after school, I texted her to make sure she was okay. She replied,'who is this?' She had deleted my number."

"Wow. Em, I'm lucky you always looked at what was in front of you. It could have been bad if you looked at only the present back then. I'm sorry you had to go through all that," Nialler told me. I knew exactly what he meant.

"Ni, my favorite teacher committed suicide. I had her in fifth grade and she was amazing. So kind and loved everyone. Everyone loved her. At the end of the year there were two kids who had never been to a huge amusement park around where we lived. She gave them tickets because they were the only ones who hadn't been there. She used to take me off to the side and talk to me when I was upset. My teacher was a very special person who helped make me who I am. She committed suicide a few weeks before I started seventh grade. I was shocked. So many people told her all the time how great she was. But she needed something more than that. She was in her mid thirties and thought of herself as the crazy cat lady. She wanted kids and a family and she didn't have that. We were so similar. Successful but in the need of more. Love animals. Love kids. Do whatever we can for people. Try to help people through hard things.