To be Hated (ON HOLD)

8.

Severus' POV:

James. Bloody. Potter.

Hazel eyed, black haired, twinkle in his fucking smile - James bloody Potter.

The blasted, grinning Gryffindor is currently occupying the chair next to my hospital bed and I don't know why.

I know he was hanging around me yesterday and he helped me get to potions and then to the hospital wing but i wasnt expecting this.

And when i asked where his little friends were he told me himself that he chose to be here.

That his gang is in Hogsmeade but he chose not to go in order to visit me.

I suspect out of guilt.

I can't think of any other possibility.

When he arrived I sneered and told him to go away, but he just grinned and sat at my bedside.

Now he sits before me rambling on and on about Salazar knows what.

"Potter - Potter!" I exclaims over him

He snaps his mouth shut, looking at me with big, confused eyes - his hands still splayed out in the air from the animated story telling.

"Hm?" He hums quietly.

"Shut up." I say.

He drops his hands and sits back in his chair with a soft 'sorry'.

I'm barely able to contain my suprise at this.

I expected him to glare and tell me not to tell him what to do, but instead, he gives a sheepish grin and shrugs his shoulders.

"I guess I do tend to rant don't I?" He chuckles.

I raise an eyebrow.

"Tell me again why you're bothering me instead of going to Hogsmede?" I ask.

I still can't wrap my head around why he's here.

"I already told you, I felt like visiting..." he says quietly.

I just scoff quietly in response.

"Whatever, if you're going to insist on being here then you must be quiet," I say, reaching over to my bedside and grabbing my book - Sherlock Holmes.

Potter pretends to zip his lips and I roll my eyes, opening up the story.

James Bloody Potter...

☆

James Potter POV:

I know I told Lily I would stay away...but what she doesn't know won't hurt her will it?

And besides, I can't just leave him alone now - after all the pain I've caused him I have to see to it that he heals.

With all the guilt I feel...I have to make things right or its going to tear me up inside.

It's been for a while now.

Even before all of this happened I was starting to feel kind of bad...

And now all that guilt is turning into some twisted form of self-hatred.

So I need to make things right.

Yeah.

That's why I'm here with him instead of Hogsmeade with my friends.

To soothe my soul, that's it.

Once I'm friends with him, everything will go back to normal.

Once I'm friends with him I'll be a good person again - I was crazy to think for a moment that even if I didn't apologize it wouldn't change anything.