14 Reasons, Awakening Gifts, and Closure?

Chapter XIV - Bryce's Tape

As before Tony did what he had been doing. And as before it took a minute before Hannah's continued.

"Here we are. Tape 13. If you've listened this far and haven't heard your name, well, I bet you know exactly what's coming now. Or maybe you don't have any idea. Could that be true? Could a person be that sick? Let's find out. But first we have to start at the beginning of the worst day of my life."

"I wanted to tell Clay everything. How could I tell him anything anymore after that night at the party?"

"It seemed like no matter what I did, I kept letting people down. I started thinking how everyone's lives would be better without me. And what does that feel like? It feels like nothing. Like a deep endless always blank nothing. And for those of you who will be looking for signs everywhere...what does it really look like? Here's the scary thing. It looks like nothing."

"It wasn't a short walk. I walked forever that night. Through my old neighborhood, where the homes were nicer than the one we lived in now. All the way up to the hill where the rich people live. Where you live. And from blocks away, I heard it. The music. The murmur of voices. The siren call of a party."

"You'd think I'd know better than to follow that call after Jessica's party. But my feet followed it. My mind and heart were still in the big, blank nothing."

"And I can't explain it but sitting there under the stars...I felt at peace for the first time in days."

"The way I see it, there are two different kinds of death. If you're lucky, you live a long life...and one day your body stops working and it's over. But if you're not lucky, you die a little bit...over and over...until you realize it's too late. I know some of you might have think there was more I could have done, or should have done. But I'd lost control. And in that moment, it felt like...it felt like I was already dead."

Brittany shuddered lightly because she absolutely agreed with Hannah that if people are unlucky, which unfortunately a lot at, they die little by little until they eventually realize that they are dead inside themselves. Even as Eyes held her while Kanone held her right hand.

"I thought maybe I could forget about what happened. But thanks to you, Bryce...I'd finally lived up to my reputation. And I knew there was no way I could ever live that down. But I thought at least maybe I could set the record straight. So I started making a list...trying to piece together just exactly how my life had gone so wrong. And the names that came out. Life is unpredictable...and control is just an illusion. And sometimes that unpredictability is overwhelming. And it makes us feel small and powerless. And once I took a look back...and I finally understood how everything happened...I decided that no one would ever hurt me again."

And that's where Bryce's tape ended.

"Mr. Walker is a monster as well but no where near the same league as your stepbrother." Kanone said to Brittany, and everyone nodded in agreement with him.

"He was a monster but he was at least trying to change and get better." Tony stated.

"Why do you say that as if he's not around anymore?" Brittany asked.

"Because he's not. He was murdered himself because his actions finally caught up to him." Caleb said. And then he and Tony told everyone what all happened concerning that.

"And he even made a tape to Jessica after listening to Hannah's tapes." Tony said smirking slightly.

"Hannah rubbed off on him in that way. Is that tape still around?" Brittany said smirking as well then asked. And when Tony nodded and said that there was even his confession to raping Hannah that Clay had took a beating for, and Brittany added, "Then those should be listened to as well. It's only fair."

And everyone nodded in agreement with her. And a lot of them gave looks of respect towards Clay.