ᴀɴꜱᴡᴇʀ » Woosan

Chapter 29 ○ Just Keep It Up « M »

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𝔹𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕘𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕚𝕔: Sunrise

𝕎𝕠𝕠𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕘

When we finally arrive at the dormitory, I get all emotional and shit. I haven't stepped in this place for weeks, and all the good memories decide to run me over all at once. It's overwhelming, in a good way. I feel it's a good moment to start talking.

"The more I do this, the more I know I'm right. Here it's where I'm meant to stay. You guys are the ones I'm meant to stay with. I cannot even start how sorry I am for what I put you through the last weeks. Especially you, San. I behaved like a little child and I'm ashamed of myself. I..."

"Don't beat yourself up, Woo. You were confused and scared. What's important is that now you know we have your back, always." Hongjoong smiles fondly at me, then hugs me. Then all of them hug me, and I find myself crying like a baby.

"What happened at KQ... might happen again if I don't work on it. You have to help me. Help me, please. I want to do this with you and no one else. I want to dance, it's always been my dream."

"And you will, I promise you. We will ask other trainees and friends to stay and be present at our training sessions. You will get used to it, it will become your second nature to perform in front of other people. You were born for it, Wooyoung." Hongjoong is dead set. "With this said, I think you're good with us. There is nothing more to clear between us, in my opinion. It's late, and you and San might have more to discuss further. Mingi, you can sleep in Yeosang's room for tonight."

There's no space for debate in his voice, but no sign of objection on Mingi's face either. He's smiling, instead, and he pats on San's back before going into Sangie's room. Everyone does, except for Jongho, who stays our for a moment to wink at us, and only then enters his room. That dude. I walk up to San, put a hand on his waist.

"I bet you do have some things to tell me. Even if they're bitter, please, don't hold them back."

"They're not bitter, they're... sad."

"Say them anyway. You deserve to feel lighter and better after what you went through."

"I don't even know where to start. It's all tangled up in my head."

"Start from the beginning. When I ran away."

"You told me I was nothing special. It hurt me so bad I couldn't breathe. It spoke volumes too."

"I only told you that so you wouldn't follow me. If I hadn't, you wouldn't have let me leave. I had to hurt you in order to do that, so I did. I'm so sorry. But I swear to you, I do not think what I said. You are special. You are. In so many ways."

"I'm sorry to say, but you will have to gain my trust back on this. I can't just take your word on it. Please, try to understand."

"No, I do. I do understand. I will have to gain everyone's trust and yours especially, on so many levels. I'm ready to do that. I will make you feel special, I promise."

"Why did you block me? Was it really necessary? I just wanted to know you were safe. I just wanted to know you were doing okay. You never answered me, then you cut me out for good. Why?"

"Because you were dragging me back! I wanted to stay where I was, and you were the only person able to bring me back to Ateez and KQ. I didn't want that. Or rather, I didn't want to want that. So, I needed to ignore you. Again, I wronged you for my own good and I can't say I'm sorry enough for this. I've been horrible to you. You of all people."