The Protector (EarthMix AU)

Chapter 21

Tian

"You okay?" I managed a shaky nod and tried to unclench my fist where they were bunched in my lap.

The jet was in final preparations for take-off, so I knew I hadn't even gotten through the worst of it yet.

I've chosen the bench seats so Edin would have more room to lie at my feet. Phupha was sitting across from me on another bench and First was closer to the back of the plane.

I hadn't had any issue with Phupha's suggestion that we leave for Chiang May a couple days ahead of schedule. I knew I was too close to breaking down completely after what had happened in the parking garage and the second attempt on Edin's life.

I won't let anyone hurt you. Ever.

Phupha whispers the nigh before. I had believed Phupha when he said that.

It was over dinner the night before that Phupha suggested we leave for Chiang Mai the following day. Phupha and I had played video games after dinner, but my heart hadn't been in it and I'd excused myself early so I could go to bed.

A part of me had hoped that Phupha would come to me again like the night before, but he hadn't. I knew it was for the best because despite Phupha's words that no one would ever hurt me again, I knew he was wrong.

Because he was the one hurting me.

Every look, every touch was a reminder of what I would be losing when Phupha decided to walk away from me again.

I had  been wrong about Phupha's feelings the night we'd made love and I'd confronted him afterwards about his unwillingness to let me comfort him with my touch.

It was in that moment that I'd finally come to accept that I couldn't fix whatever was broken inside of Phupha.

I'd thought giving him every part of myself would be enough, but it wasn't.

It never would be.

Phupha had and always would love only one man. A man I couldn't compete with and didn't want to.

The jet jerked over some kind of bump on the tarmac and I barely managed to swallow the whimper in my throat. Edin sat up and put his head on my lap. As the jet began racing down the runway, I felt my panic start to rise.

Edin whined but it was Phupha who got up from his seat and moved across the jet to sit down next to me. His hand forced mine open so he could link our fingers and then he was drawing my body against his.

In one way, it was exactly what I needed. In another way, it was exactly what I didn't.

My second declaration of love had been ignored just like the first one, but I really hadn't expected anything different. I'd sensed that I wouldn't have much more time with Phupha because he had continued to withdraw from me emotionally, even as he physically kept me close.

And once several more men had arrived to watch the house, I'd felt like it was the beginning of the end.

Because Phupha was only keeping his promise not to let anyone hurt me.

He'd never promised me he'd stay with me.

Once the jet was airborne, I straightened so I was no longer pressed against Phupha's broad chest. I carefully tugged my hand loose and put it back in my lap.

Phupha quickly got the message and got up to talk to First.

I had nothing to do but get lost in my own thought.

And I'd been doing way too much of that lately.

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