Beautiful Disaster

Ambulance

"There's a darkness we need to feel,
for the brightest light to be seen and felt inside." -HIM Drawn and Quartered

A soft knock sounds on the door of Dean's room, "Dean?" came the soft voice of his brother Sam. He poked his head in when he didn't get an answer.

He saw his brother looking ragged, and the worried lines on his face, which has grown a bit of facial hair in the post few days. Dean was cuddled up in his bed with Nyx, both seemed to be sound asleep. Good, they need their rest, Sam thought as he shut the door to his brothers room once again.

"How are they?" Cas asked as Sam entered the library.

"Resting." he said, voice full of concern for his brother and Nyx. "It's been a damn week Cas!" Sam flips a chair back.

"I know. I'm worried too, but ask we can do right now is let her rest. Dean is with her if anything more concerning happens" the angel's gruff voice said to the youngest Winchester. "I can try to see if she needs more healing, but I can't heal the mental trauma she no doubt endured."

"Cas... Please..." Sam said feeling defeated at his inability to be able to do anything to help. "Nyx and her sister are the little sisters I never had, and I know this is taking it's toll on Dean, and he's already going through a lot, between what just happened and his past traumas. We just-" Sam sighed before continuing, "We need to do something. Anything."

"I understand Sam. Perhaps, when Dean wakes up, I'll scan her again and see how she's progressing." Cas said reassuring the young brother.

"Thank you, Cas." Sam whispered.

Sometime later, Dean woke up, he looked at Nyx and noticed she was breathing evenly, and looked peaceful in her sleep. He got out of the bed carefully, not wanting to wake Phenyx.

Dean opens his door to find Castiel standing there, about to knock. "Dean, I was just about to check on you and Nyx. I was going to see how she was progressing in her healing."

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll feel better with someone watching over her at the moment, so I can eat and shower. Maybe see if Sam made any progress in the search for Wednesday." Dean said. He left his room to let Cas do what he needed to.

Dean needed to get out of the bunker, he needed to fight something, let out his stress over Nyx, but he wouldn't leave her. He needed to be there when she woke up. "If she wakes up." Dean sighed to himself, and rested his head against the hard wall of the hallway. He stayed that way for a few minutes, before carrying on to the kitchen.

"Dean!" Sam said in shock at seeing his brother out of his room. "How is she?"

"Cas is finding out right now. We'll know something soon." Dean replied.

"And, um, h-how are you?" Sam asked.

"Aces." Dean said in his signature sarcasm. "I'm up to my eyes in unicorns and glitter." Dean threw back the glass of whiskey he poured himself, and poured another.

"Dean, I know this is hard on you... It's hard on me too... And Cas. She'll get through this." Sam said seriously, while trying to keep his brothers hope alive.

"How do you know, Sam? Do you have a crystal ball stashed somewhere?" Dean angrily shot at his brother. "Please, tell me how this is supposed to play out, because I'm up for any option than watching her die!"

"I don't know, Dean! But- C'mon man! You need to keep that hope alive! Hell, she dealt with all your crap growing up, and she got through that!" Sam retorted. "We'll find a way. We always do. Believe in her, like she believes in you. Keep your trust in her, just like she's kept hers in you all these years! No matter the outcome, she's always been beside you." Sam then turned to walk away, but Dean's voice stopped him before he got too far.

"I need her Sammy. I need her in my life. You, Nyx, Wednesday, Cas, Bobby... You're all I've got. I can't go through that pain of watching someone I love be claimed by this life again. I won't." Dean says heatedly, and ends in a whisper, trying to fight back the tears already rolling down his face, as he stares blindly at the countertop, drink forgotten in his hand, his empty hand death gripping the counter's edge. He looks up at Sam, and his brother can see the deep, raw pain and fear Dean is feeling.

Sam walks over to Dean, and gives him a tight hug. "I know Dean." He whispers.

A few moments, and a shower later, Cas joins the boys, "She's healing well. I did what I can, for now, to help her along with it."

"How much longer do you think she needs?" Sam asked the angel.

"A few more days, at least." Cas replied, his voice full of concern.

"What is it Cas?" Dean asks, picking up on the tone, going on alert for any bad news to come.

"Physically, she's fine... It's just some minor healing, but..." Castiel trailed off.

"But what?" Dean prompted, giving a look that said he was withdrawing into himself, trying not to get attached, so the blow of the news wouldn't hurt as bad.

"I'm worried about her mental state coming out of this. It's going to be... Difficult." The angel seemed to struggle to find the right word, and still wasn't sure that that was the correct one.

"We'll just have to cross that bridge when we get to it." Dean said standing up, and starting to walk back to his room, he stopped suddenly, taking a deep breath, and said, "Thank you. Both of you." And continued walking.

It was two days later, in the middle of the night, when Nyx fluttered her eyes open. She blinked s few times, trying to get used to them being open. She felt light breathing on her neck, and something warm and heavy around her, almost feeling like it was securing her to the bed. She stirred slightly, just enough to see what held her. When she turned over, she was staring into the most beautiful eyes she'd ever seen, they made her catch her breath. Such a beautiful green.

"Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without the words, and never stops at all."-Emily Dickinson