It's in Our Blood

Prologue II: I'm Pregnant II

15 years ago...

It was a week after she found out she was pregnant, Sunday to be exact. Sundays were reserved for family dinners at her maternal grandmother Theresa's house. Her aunts, uncles and cousins would be there, it was a day well spent. Ever since her mother and Andrea left for the states, Theresa and Carina had gotten even closer, she needed a mother figure and with her dad being emotionally unavailable it was important for her to remain close with her family.

This Sunday Carina made sure to get to her grandmother's house early before the rest of the family arrived. She would often go early and attend Sunday mass with her grandmother, she wasn't religious, but she enjoyed spending extra time with her. However, recently with college and working she had been pretty busy and sometimes even missed dinner. This week she ensured that she would be able to get there early because she needed her grandmother's advice.

She made sure to arrive at the time her grandmother would be arriving back from church. She walked through her front door after knocking. "Nonna?" she said as she paved her way to the kitchen, which was where Theresa could always be found. She smiled when she found her throwing flour on the counter starting to make fresh bread.

"My beautiful treasure" she said looking walking over to her and giving her a hug. "I have missed you. Where is Antonio?"

"I have missed you to Nonna." She said as she scoped out her Nonna's fresh pizzelle on the table. "Yum" she said as she took one and broke a piece off and eating it. "Uhm Antonio and I actually broke up."

Theresa looked up at Carina and raised an eyebrow, encouraging her to go on. She knew Carina and there was more she wanted to share.

"Nonna, I have to tell you something and please don't be mad, I don't think I could handle it, I need you..." Carina started panicking and rambling on. Theresa began to worry; she took a seat next to Carina and took her hand.

"Carina, you need to take a deep breath for me. What is wrong?"

"I'm pregnant." Theresa was surprised but her face remained still, showing no emotion. She wanted Carina to speak, get all of her thoughts out. "An...Antonio and I we were always safe, clearly not safe enough." She said her eyes watering, bringing her hand to her face. "Antonio did not take the news well. He was too worried with his career and his image, he doesn't want this baby, but I think I want this baby. I mean, I want this baby but how will I manage. It's only going to be me, and I am on track for med school. Can I do this on my own, being in school?" The tears that were once threatening to pool out were now streaming down her face. She was so lost and so worried that her grandmother would lose all respect for her.

Theresa could see the look of distraught on her granddaughter's face and took her in her own arms, kissing the top of her head. "I could never be mad at you. Worried for you yes, but you have always had a good head on your shoulders.... Let me ask you something, if there was no med school and you weren't on your own; would you want to keep this baby."

"Yes." Carina did not even hesitate to answer. "I am just worried that I won't be enough, that my schedule will be too much, and I would be absent."

"Then we are going to keep this baby." Carina looked at her grandmother with wide eyes. "You will move in here; save money and I will help you; let your family will help you. Plus look at your mama." Theresa was almost frustrated to compare Carina to her daughter because she still did not fully understand why she willingly let Carina stay with Vincenzo, but she managed to move to the states and provide a good life for her son. "She is also a single parent, managing on her own. Even though you have us in your corner, you would be fully capable to do it on your own.

"Nonna I can't ask you to do that."

"You didn't ask, and it is what's going to happen. You are the granddaughter." She smirked as she pulled the adult card. Carina all of jumped in her grandmother's arms and let out a cry. She was terrified, but she wanted this, and she had a support system in her corner.

---

Carina was four months pregnant, when she finally decided to visit her father and tell him that she was having a baby. She knew she couldn't put it off any longer, he kept calling and asking when she was going to come visit and ever phone call, he seemed to become more erratic and manic.

As to be expected, telling her father she was pregnant did not go over well. She was used to blocking out most of what he said, since a majority of it was just well, erratic....

"What do you mean you are pregnant Carina." Her father said voice raised, while looking at her as they sat across from one another at the dinner table.

"I mean exactly that, Papa. I am having a baby. I am four months pregnant." She said softly to him as she looked down.

Vincenzo threw the glass of whiskey he had in his hand across the room as the glass shattered and the remaining liquid now lay on the floor and Carina flinched. "You know the moment you told me you were going to practice medicine, on a full scholarship, I was elated. Overjoyed. You were following my footsteps. But ever since that moment it has been one disappointment after the next... First you decided to make OBGYN your specialty and now here you are knocked up without a husband. Your mama should have taken you when she left, not Andrea.

There it was. This argument again. Anytime she was Vincenzo's punching bag, which was often, that statement would be thrown at her face. Carina attempted to fight back at showing any emotions but failed. Her eyes became all glossy and her vision blurred. He didn't ask about her plan, whether she was excited, or even ask if she needed anything. Carina was unsure why she thought that she would've received any of those responses from him, but one could hope. One could hope that their father would finally show up and be there for their daughter. His daughter who was scared, but excited for this journey. She didn't need anything from him though, her maternal grandmother, who Carina confided in for everything, was also supporting her in the next step of her life.

She cleared her throat and proceeded to sit up straight. "Papa, I am not going to sit here and argue with you. I just wanted to let you know that you were going to be a Nonno. Which I assume now you will want no part of." She said as she got up and walked toward the door. "I would love for you to be a part of my child's life. But I will not have her around you when you are like this. When you are yelling and throwing glasses across the room. I will not subject my baby girl to what I have had to live through." She said calm yet firm as she looked him in the eye.

Vincenzo still had his fist in a tight squeezed ball. " What do you mean what you have lived through, I have provided you with a great life, you are the one who is causing trouble." he said standing up as he looked back at his daughter as if he was going to head in her direction.

Carina took a few steps back. "Papa, I am leaving. I cannot do this now." Carina shook her head and turned to the door, exiting the house once she made it outside. Tears began to stream down her face as she ran quickly to her car. She struggled telling Antonio about the baby, and his dismissal of the whole pregnancy, but her father, her own father. She feels stupid for giving her father the benefit of the doubt. He has been like this all her life, and she knows eventually he will call her, act like the fight never happened and want to see her and her baby. And she was right, that day eventually came but for his own benefit of course.