The Price We've Paid

Until the End

When Andy entered your room, you were still seated on the side of your bed, sniffling; your hands still fidgeting in your lap.

Andy set the tea down on the dresser before settling herself next to you. For a moment, she just listened to the sound of your breathing and sniffles.

"I-um..." Andy hesitated. "I didn't realize you felt that way...like you weren't enough for me."

You let out a soft sigh, unsure of what to say.

"I guess I wasn't always the best wife, huh?" She chuckled.

Without looking at her, you moved one of your hands to grab hers; a small way of comforting her. "You were...are an amazing wife," you whispered back.

Andy moved the hand you weren't holding to your chin, forcing your gaze to meet hers. "But I can be better. I will be better. I promise you."

Her voice cracked as she spoke, an indication of her sincerity. She was close to crying; her voice always sounded like this when she was; and that's how you knew she meant it. You let a half smile creep up your face as you let your head nuzzle into her hand.

"All of this," she said softly, as she let her eyes wander around the room. "What you've built...it's amazing. You've spent these last 35 years educating yourself; learning about the world and how it works, so that you could provide us with something we haven't had in a long time...safety. The ability to live like we used to; unencumbered and unafraid."

She shook her head. "I should have been more supportive of that venture. I should have realized that was your goal all along. But I was so engrossed in the fact that you wanted to leave, I ignored the reason for you leaving entirely."

You turned your body to face hers.

"While you've spent these last years doing the impossible, I've been...hiding. Living a life in shambles, trying to hold the team together without you by my side. And perhaps trying to hold the pieces of myself together too," she admitted. "I'm sorry for what I said outside; about you coming back."

She looked down at her hands, slightly ashamed. "I guess, when I saw all you'd built, and heard about all the incredible things you'd accomplished without me, it left me feeling..." she shrugged, "I don't know. Jealous...hurt...lonely...left behind? Like the only reason were able to accomplish these things was because you'd left. It made me feel like I was the one holding you back."

You pulled both of Andy's hands into your lap, rubbing them gently with your thumbs. "You have never held me back." You said in a confident yet softened tone. "If anything, you're the one thing that inspires me to keep pushing forward."

Andy let a soft smile grace her lips as you continued.

"Neither of us handled that argument 35 years ago the way we should've," you admitted. "I should've tried harder to help you understand why I wanted to use technology."

"And I should've expressed my feelings," Andy added. "Explained to you why I didn't want you to leave; instead of just saying no."

You nodded in agreement as tears began to well in your eyes.

She scooted slightly closer to you, placing one of her hands gently on your cheek to wipe the few stray tears that had fallen. "Zosime, you are my everything. And I'm so sorry I didn't show you that enough." A saddened expression settled on her face. "When I told you not to leave, it wasn't because I didn't believe you could succeed in doing what you said you would," she admitted. "It was because I was scared. You wanted to embrace something I feared would only bring us more harm. And you knew I wasn't going to follow you down that path and yet you went down it anyway."