Life is Cruel, Yet Beautiful (Attack on Titan)

Grasping at Straws

As Reiner picked himself up off the ground, Aka took the time to study his body. Reiner was wearing casual clothing, a thin light brown shirt that showed off his muscles and his short blonde hair had become messy. When Reiner had got to his feet, he looked away.

"I'm sorry... I'm not forward like that." Akamatsu apologised. Reiner brushed his hands over his broad shoulders and laughed.

"You've got a lot of strength Akamatsu," Reiner locked eyes with him before continuing, " I'm the one that should be apologising, fuck, I bet you think I'm a jerk." He scratched his head and leaned back on the wall.

For some reason, Aka didn't feel as intimidated as before. It was as if he realised that Reiner was just another person too.

"thank you."
and with that, Akamatsu left.

The Next Morning

It was the day where the trainees were to take the balance test, they had trained the day before.

Akamatsu watched as people like Mikasa, Jean and Reiner. Eren Jaeger failed at first, however it turned out his gear was faulty, and with fully working gear, he succeeded.

When Reiner came down, he walked over to Akamatsu and gave him a greeting hug, which took him by surprise at first, but after a few seconds, he returned the subtle embrace.

"Aka! Hey, you look good." He winked before punching his arm lightly. Akamatsu had gone first and had stayed to watch the others, "Listen, me and my friends are going out for a celebratory drink if you want to join?" Aka lightly gasped under his breath. It was the first time he'd been invited anywhere from anyone, he didn't know what to say.

Reiners face dropped for a second, he was trying not to show his disappointment at Aka's silence.

"I understand if-"

"Yes."

"What?"

"I said.. Yes"

In a matter of seconds Aka was engulfed in a tight hug. This time, he loosely wrapped his arms around Reiner's neck and leant his head on his shoulders.

Reiner smiled. He was really starting to get somewhere with Akamatsu. When he felt him let go, he hesitantly did the same.

"Hey, Reiner?" The person known as 'Potato Girl' spoke. She was accompanied by Jean, Mikasa, Eren and the little blonde one boy whose name he had never learnt. Reiner turned around to look at Potato Girl and her Crew, "Hey, what's up?" He asked, looking confused, but what for? That's what Akamatsu was wondering.

"We were just wondering if you were still on for tonight." The girl looked over to Aka. As did everyone else, including Reiner. Who looked less confused now.

"Oh! Yeah definitely, do you mind if I bring my friend?" He put his arm over Akamatsu's shoulder and pulled him towards himself, well he tried to but Akamatsu fell into his chest, his hand over his peck. His face went red as Reiner laughed.

"Guys this is Akamatsu." Everyone greeted him nicely, him, nicely. He'd never used those two words in the same sentence for a long time. He couldn't help but nervously smile as he squeaked out a 'hi'. Reiner laughed and held Aka against him with one arm.

"I really like Aka so don't fuck this one up for me guys." The group laughed, and Eren retorted, "You do that enough already Reiner, you don't need our help with that." Everyone laughed again, including Akamatsu, he felt comfortable and safe when he was being held by Reiner, like nothing could hurt him again.

"Well I'm glad your still on for tonight and the more the merrier! See you later Reiner, and you Akamatsu." Everyone said there goodbyes and then it was just me and Reiner again.

"How about you come to my cabin?" Reiner flirting suggested. Akamatsu was very red indeed.

"I...um..." Akamatsu had lost his words and Reiner laughed as the walked beside the river that ran through the middle of the district.

"I'm just fucking with you Aka." If Reiner was being honest with himself, he knew that he wished he really was fucking with him.

Reiner sat down on the edge of the wall, dangling his legs over the river. He wanted Aka to sit on his lap, facing him, but Aka didn't like water and was scared.

"It'll be fine Aka, trust me." Akamatsu had to swallow the lump in his throat before he crawled down and sat next to Reiner, clutching his arm for dear life. It wasn't exactly how Reiner wanted him to sit but it was progress nonetheless.

"Tell me what you're thinking right now." Reiner whispered into Akamatsu's ear.
"What are you feeling? What do you see?"
As Akamatsu tried to think of an answer, he subconsciously leant his head onto Reiner's shoulder and slacked his grip on his arm.

"I feel...Happy...Safe...Warm. I see..." Aka looked around at his environment "... The beautiful river flowing slowly, the walls that keep us safe, the people that give the city life and the man that..." Akamatsu stopped, realising that he'd let his mind wander past the border.

"The man that what Akamatsu." Reiner wanted to know what he was talking about, and Akamatsu didn't feel like being difficult.
"The man that made me smile for the first time in 5 years."

Reiner stared at Akamatsu, his eyes full of happiness and shock. Akamatsu blushed as he stared down at the river, the water was so clear. He felt the warmth of Reiner's hand on his chin, he turned his, coming face to face with s cheery looking Reiner.

" Can I ?"

There was no hesitation as Akamatsu nodded his head.

The kiss started slow and passionate. Reiner was surprised by Akamatsu whose hands were on Reiner's neck, and brushing through his hair. Reiner got hold of Akamatsu's waist and pulled him over him, leaning back as Aka leant down to kiss him more. He felt free, unbound. Every kiss was another display of freedom and hope for a happier future.

Reiner suddenly flipped Akamatsu over and onto his back on the grass.
He wanted him, he wanted him badly but he knew it wasn't the time and definitely not the place, but fuck did he want him.

"Aka..." Reiner whispered. His lover got the message through his tone. Aka got off of Reiner and sat beside him as he sat up.

"Can I ask you something?" Reiner perked up as he held onto Akamatsu's hand. Aka nodded.

"I want to be with you. From the first day of seeing you at training, I've had my eye on you at some point or another. I guess don't know how to explain it clearly but I think, I need you."

First Person | Akamatsu

I was ready to tear up, no one had ever said something so loving and kind to me.

Reiner leant forward and put his hand on my thigh, calmly rubbing up and down.

"Will you be with me Akamatsu?"

What did this mean? Was he asking me out, or hoping to claim me? Did he love me? We'd only spoken for a few days yet I got the impression that he loved me, or was it that I loved him?