Forget Where We Were (reupload!)

Chapter 15

When the wave of memories hit Kaveh, he was already lying down on the bed as advised by Nahida. His head started to get flooded by memories, akin to a high wave crashing against the shoreline, effectively drowning the screaming void that lived in his mind for years. It was like greeting an old friend, feeling familiar memories and emotions, together with some insane migraine thrown into the mix.

Kaveh gasped, the blunt force of getting a fragment of his life back had him sitting on the bed in sheer realization.

His mother. He met his mother when he was in Fontaine. Without his memories, living as Kiran, he refused her attempts to communicate way back then, around the time when he had just been found and brought to the shop. Kaveh had brushed her off as some crazy lady who told him weird things that seemed so hard to believe two years ago.

She told Kaveh things that he failed to remember now. He could vaguely remember her apologizing for something and then warning him about the people who saved him, and Kaveh telling her that he was sorry too, for not being okay with her talking to him. That a complete stranger talking to Kaveh might not be the best idea at the time. It was a knee-jerk reaction in the middle of Kiran trying to navigate his void-filled world, as he tried so hard to fill the empty spaces of his life with something else.

Kaveh swiped the tears away from his eyes as a knock sounded on the door. In the split second, before the door opened, the blonde grabbed the letter he got from Theo a few days ago - some warnings about The Benefactor already wondering about Kaveh's whereabouts - and tucked it underneath the pillow. He was surprised that it was the General Mahamatra who stepped into his room, and not Tighnari or Lord Kusanali. They were the ones who usually checked up on him.

"They got Alhaitham's consciousness back," said Cyno. "He should wake up in a few. How are you feeling?"

Kaveh sniffled, "I remember everything about my mom. That she moved to Fontaine and got remarried. While I was there, she approached me not knowing that I lost my memories. Of course, I had no idea who she was and honestly, it was not a good time for me, so I might have told her to leave me alone."

"That's..." Cyno shook his head. "I am sorry to hear that. As someone who never had a bond with the people who were supposed to have made me, I do not fully understand. I couldn't imagine the pain of being left alone by the people you have come to love like a family. If Tighnari or Collei were to leave me, life would lose its meaning."

Kaveh sighed, "I don't know what to do."

Cyno looked at him like he was remembering something from the past, before saying, "You don't have to do anything just yet. You shouldn't be pressured to heal or confront monsters when you're not ready. If people really love you the way they say they do, then they'll understand. There would be no place for apologies because there would be nothing to apologize for."

The blonde smiled. "Thank you, Cyno. Maybe after I regained all my memories, I'll go back to Fontaine to pay her a visit and talk to her about things. But you know, I kind of knew that my life was headed this way after I remembered my father's death. My mother... The pain wrought her so badly that she could no longer heal in the place where she got hurt. I do understand that. I just wished she loved me more. Kinda."

"Maybe she did," shrugged Cyno. "She just wasn't able to show you."

"Alhaitham said the same thing to me," Kaveh laughed lightly as he slipped off the bed. He looked back at the pillow for a second, ensuring that the piece of paper was nowhere in sight before joining Cyno as they walked to Alhaitham's room where Tighnari and Nahida were busy trying to keep the scribe's vitals stable until he was able to wake up.

When they entered the room, Tighnari looked at Kaveh with concern. "Are you feeling ill?"

Kaveh shook his head, "I am okay, just the migraine."