Mugs and Monsters.

The House Of Snakes

The house was perfect and I got it for a steal. It was so easy to ignore the three murders that had taken place here when you saw the view from the balcony. It was a stand alone house with no neighbors for miles and from the balcony from the second floor you could see nothing but trees and a little creek running through them. I was basking in the glory of the new location  when I heard the doorbell ring. I took a sip of my coffee, set the mug down and walked back in the house. Through the hallway and down the stairs to the front door just at the bottom.  I opened it to see an old friend from highschool that lived in the area. He was holding a bottle of wine and a gift basket with a balloon that said welcome home on it.
      “Terry oh my God”. I said taking the bottle and basket and showing him in.
      “Hey Matt” he said taking a look around. “Beautiful place”.
     “Thank you” I responded closing the door with my foot, “so I take it you got my Facebook message.”
     “Yeah I was surprised to hear from you after so long”.  Terry said wiping his feet on the rug before taking his shoes off.
    We walked into the kitchen and I popped the cork on the wine. “So what are you up to these days” I asked pulling two red solo cups from a plastic package on the counter.
      “Well you remember my dad’s bar”? He asked.
     “Sure I do” I said having flashes of our drunken highschool escapades as I poured our wine “O’ Patty’s right”. I asked passing him a cup half full of wine.
      “Yep that’s the one.” he said taking a cup and taking a sip. “Well I’m the new owner, Pa passed about a year ago and left it to me”. He said.
      “Oh shit”. I said, “Im sorry to hear that.”
      “Hey man silver linings man my dad was an asshole”. He said but I could tell he was at least a little bothered. He was trying not to show it, but he was always like that.
      “Well here’s to Frank Patty and Silver linings” I said raising my cup for a toast.
        He raised his and we clinked them both taking a sip right after. “Ugh sorry about the plastic cups I haven’t unpacked my stuff yet.” 
        “No worries” he said “Reminds me of the good old days” he said. We shared a laugh as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes. “Hey is there anywhere I can do this, and do you mind?” 
    “Not at all man” I said having been a cigarette smoker myself for a time I completely understood. “We can go out on the back porch” I continued feeling a bit inebriated having downed my glass. I gave myself a refill and led him up the stairs. “Youre going to love the view man”. I said when we were halfway up.
    We walked out onto the garden of serenity that was my back porch and both  of us took a seat on one of the pladtic chairs I had taken from my parents house. Terry lit a cigarette and I took a few sips from my wine. “This view is amazing” he said taking a drag from his cigarette.
        “Check this out” I said standing up and leaning over the rail, pointing at the stream. When I did I noticed something I hadn’t seen before. It was a statue, a creepy statue sitting on the far side of the stream.
         “Cool statue”. Terry said taking a sip from his wine. “ I never took you as a Baphomet watching me sleep kind of guy, but I suppose people change”.
        “Its funny” I said taking a sip from my wine, “Until now I never noticed that statue out there”. 
       “Oh come on you’re bullshittin me” he said taking another inhale of his cigarette.
       “No terry look at me” I said in a serious tone as if I was talking to a child who was doing something dangerous. “I swear on my mother’s life that statue was not there before you rang the door bell”.
        “Classic Matt always a jokester, I swear man you haven’t changed a bit, that’s awesome”. He said.
       I looked back and the statue was on the side of the creek nearest the house. “Terry”?
      “Yeah”?
      “Wasn’t that statue just on the other side of the creek”? I asked with probably more than a hint of genuine concern in my voice.
       He looked out and studied the scenery for a minute. “No I don’t…..” He paused mid sentence. “Wait…. Yeah I…. I think it was, yeah”.
       “Hugh” we both said a Mila second away from unison. “Should we…” Terry said.
       “Yeah come on”. I interrupted “I don’t care if you smoke inside.
     “Cool”. He said realizing I was not joking about. This situation.
      We went in and both tried to forget about the statue. Sitting upstairs in the kitchen, when we started to hear a knock at the back door just to the right of where we were sitting. But this knock was not a normal knock. It was a slow and hard knock. “Did you invite anyone else over?” terry asked in a slow, I am uncomfortable with this situation kind of way.
      I shook my head no and we both turned and looked in the direction of the knock. When we did it seemed to get harder. I have no earthly, heavenly or helly Idea what made me do it, but for some reason I walked over to the door, and looked through the small window that was eye level with me. Expecting to see a normal person’s face I was taken aback to see black fur and ram horns on the other side of the door. Noticing this I walked back to the kitchen and clapped my hands together and aiad in my calmest possible voice “So…. That was not a statue”.
       “What?” he asked confused.
     “Theres someone In a Baphomet suit standing on my back porch”. I said still in my focalm voice. “Youre welcome to leave or wait this out, your call”. I said freaking out on the inside.
      “Well I guess I’ll wait it out” Terry said taking a sip of wine. “I mean I’ve had a little to drink, and I don’t want to go outside while some Satan worshipping lunatic is knocking on your front door”.
        “Oh fantastic” I said still trying, poorly I might add to sound calm in this frankly terrifying situation. “Im going to call the police”. 
    I dialed 911 on my phone as the knocking kept getting harder and harder, but not faster, this psycho was slowly banging on my door but keeping the same pace”.
     “911 what is your emergency?” The operator said.
    “Hi, there is someone knocking on my back door dressed in a demon costume.”
     “Okay, is it someone you know trying to play a prank”.
    “No ma’am I have just moved to the area and I do not know anyone here”. I answered trying to stay calm.
     “ Okay, and have you tried asking this person to leave?”
      “The 911 operator asked”.
     “No ma’am but this is private property, and I’m scared to go up to the door.” I answered. 
        “Call us back if he doesn’t leave after you ask”. The operator answered, hanging up the phone right after. 
        This operator, a long with the drunk and lazy small town police force would eventually be my undoing. I walked up to the door where the knocking was coming from. I stood right beside it and yelled, “You’re on private property and you need to leave.”
         The knocking stopped, and Terry said “ugh dude” from the kitchen. “I think you may want to come look at this”. He was standing by the kitchen island with a cigarette in hand.  I looked to my left to see what he was looking at. My vision was a tad blurry from the wine so I walked into the kitchen and looked toward what would be when I moved the table in there. The room had a metallic smell that I hadn’t noticed until I read a message on the wall that read “You are trespassing on cursed land, if you do not leave you will become food for the serpent’s”. It was written in big letters in red paint.
            “Did you do this?” I said to Terry in a slightly accusatory tone trying to deny that my presumably soon to be intruder was something other than human. 
          “No man”. He said sounding terrified. “Your walls started oozing, a-a-nd I started smelling pennies and rotting meat”.
I walked back over to my back door where the would be intruder was still standing waiting patiently. “Did you do this?” I yelled, “Knock once for yes and twice for no”. I said. 
  *Knock* one knock. “Oh shit”. 
    “Well I’ll add vandalism to it when I call the police come” I said walking into the kitchen.  I grabbed the bottle by the neck and turned it up taking a long guzzle of wine. 
    “Are you going to call the police?” Terry asked.
   “ugh, something tells me that won’t help” I said pulling the bottle from my lips. 
     “Why do you…” Terry managed to get out before we noticed a new message on the wall.
      It read “You have refused me now prepare to meet the serpents”. 
      “What the fuck does that mean?” terry said throwing his cigarette butt into his wine cup.
      “I have no idea”. I said just as terrified.
     I walked back over to the door and peaked out to see that the would be intruder was no longer outside.
      “The guy is gone though.” I said, as I reentered the kitchen. We sat there in silence drinking wine. “Can I have one of your cigarettes?” I asked to break the silence and hopefully relieve the stress of this crazy and stressful situation.  He opened the box and extended it to me. I took two and said “ill buy you a pack”.
       “Don’t worry you need it after that”. He said. I started hearing a thump from across the house, then another, then another. It sounded as of something was tumbling down the stairs. We both did our best to ignore it, agreeing that it’s the people who investigate shit in movies that get killed first. I lit one of the cigarettes he gave me. Having not smoked in years I coughed on the first draw.
        I was about halfway through the cigarette when Terry jumped up and screamed “Holy shit” and as he did I felt a sudden pain in the back of my leg.
        I screamed and fell to the floor as Terry jumped on the counter. While I was laying there I watched in horror as a ten foot snake slithered across my kitchen and into what would soon be my living room.
     “Yes we need an ambulance at” terry said into his cell phone taking the phone away from his ear and screaming my address from the message I sent him.
      “Was that a fucking snake?” I asked in a delirious sort of way.
       “yes, my friend has been bitten by a snake” terry said in a horrified and confused tone. “It got into his house somehow.” …… “I don’t know what kind of snake, a big one, just please send someone”.   
     “L-l-l” is all I managed to get out trying to tell him to look up as the snake started to coil and rise behind him.
     “What budy?” terry asked learning over the edge.of the kitchen island he was standing on. He let out a scream as the snake sunk it’s teeth into his back. He fell off of the counter and onto me. I grunted in pain and the snake which was skinny but about ten feet long slithered away again.
       “We need to get to a hospital”. I said pushing terry off of me and Rolling over to my stomach. I vomited up the red wine from earlier and began to stand. When I got to my feet I grabbed Terrys hand and helped him to his feet. When we were both standing I led the way walking twords my back door.  When I heard what sounded like a maraca being shaken at an extremely fast speed. I looked into the threshold that separated my kitchen from my dining room to see a rattle snake rearing up at me ready to strike. I backed up slowly and looked behind it when I was a safe distance away from it and saw two other snakes. One of which I recognized as a king Cobra.  I turned around to see the snake that had bitten me and Terry coming towards us again. Terry ripped the sleeve from his shirt and pulled out his lighter. He lit the ripped sleeve on fire and ran twords the rattlesnake throwing the flaming cloth at it. To both of our surprise it worked. The rattlesnake snake turned and slithered away quickly. I opened the door leading to the back of my house ophidiophobe die of fright right on the spot. The porch itself was fine, but the grass and wooded area was covered by thousands of snakes, all slithering over each other. “Well three snakes or three thousand snakes”? I asked letting out a weak laugh before falling to my knees, and then onto my face. I struggled to breathe as I layed on the concrete. Terry tried to shake me but it did no good. My heart beat was getting slower by the second. As I took my last few breaths I looked into the field of snakes. Floating over it was the Baphomet, it was hard to tell given it’s features but I could tell it was smiling. I nodded in acknowledgment  that he had won. I heard ambulance sirens as I took my last breath and died right there on the ground.