Endlessly - Eren x Reader

Chapter 5.5 - Gold

It was 11am in the morning when you finally pulled yourself out of bed.
After the long and treacherous night of dealing with an inebriated Eren—who was consistently throwing up throughout the night—you shuffle your feet into the kitchen and peer at him from behind the kitchen counter. Still sound asleep like a baby.

His body was far too big for the small little love seat that you and Sasha shared, so his feet hung over the end. You wanted to laugh but after the things he mistakenly said to you, it was hard to muster a positive emotion.

Regardless, you walked over anyways, and tucked his feet into the blanket he had wrapped around him like a caterpillar inside its cocoon, brushing his messy hair out of his flushed face, and spending a little extra time admiring the peace cast upon his sleeping expression. You grab him a Tylenol extra strength from the cabinet and place it on the coffee table, along with a glass of water.

"You don't deserve any of this." You whisper underneath your breath.

As you turn to walk back towards your room, you hear Eren shuffle his body on the couch. "Mmm....I know." He mumbles and groans, still half asleep, and probably still drunk.

You have never done such a fast 180 in your entire life. Your neck practically snaps as you turn around to look at him.

And suddenly there it was again... that anger. Bottled up for weeks, begging to burst like a cork in champagne. How could he? How could he sit here so unbothered, so carefree, admitting that he knows what he's doing is wrong, and that he doesn't deserve it, and you don't deserve it, but still he continues to manipulate you, and take advantage of you, and use you. Day in, and day out. Over and over again, you bend over backwards just so that he'd at least say one kind thing to you.

Just ONE nice thing, out of the hundreds of terrible things he's said and done to you, and yet, despite all your efforts, there he sits, loved by all, cared for by all, tucked into a blanket like the "golden child" he is, on your couch, without a single care in the world about what he has done to you, but rather the fact... that you will never stop treating him the way you so desperately wish to be treated, and that he will never be able to do that.

You look at him, his eyes are tightly closed, and his face is pressed into a throw pillow, but you look at him, with every feeling in your body. Your eyes were not shallow, or narrowed, nor were they wide or sad, they were opened, and they saw him for exactly who he was, and you knew he could feel your stare burn into him.

"When you wake up, I'll treat you to a homemade breakfast, I'll do your laundry, and even wait for it to dry. I'll smile at you like I always have, and when I walk you to the door, I'll tell you to have a good day, but after that door has shut, and I can no longer see your face, I promise you on my life and everything that I live for... I will never speak to you again."

He doesn't respond, he doesn't even shift an inch, wether or not he heard you doesn't matter anymore.

"I'll give up on everything I've worked for, and I'll transfer out if I have to, but trust me on this." You continue watching his sleeping eyes. "You will be like a stranger to me, the second you walk out of that door."

His eyes don't even flutter, and with that, you turn around and retreat back into your room for the meantime and open your laptop.

11:24am

-  Everybody knows that when you're buying jewelry from any store other than a jewelry store, the piece your buying will most likely not be real.
Though it may look pretty in gold on the outside, and the gem may sparkle when the light hits it at just the right angle, after a few weeks of wearing it, the gold will eventually crack off and turn brass, staining your skin with an ugly blue tint, no matter what.

There are some ways to delay this process; like coating it with clear nail polish, or painting it gold again with acrylic paint, but one way or another, it will eventually peel off again, and continue to stain you, prompting you to eventually throw the jewellery away, and find something real and authentic.

I think people are like jewelry in that sense—or rather—love is like the elements. There is real golden love, and then there is copper painted love. It might be precious to you, it might look pretty on you when you first receive it, it might shine as golden as a mid July sunrise, and be fitted with the most beautiful diamonds... but if it's not real... not authentic, it will stain.

It may not visibly stain your skin blue, but everyone around you will still be able to see it. Everyone except you.

-yn