Portraits of our dreams (Hashirama x Madara)

6. As compliant as water (Hashirama)

His beauty that I had seen on my phone screen was nothing, nothing compared to the beauty of him in real life.

He had a radiance about him, a pearly glow that made you want to step closer only to bask in his glory. He was ethereal, almost unreal, like a fairy tale, his glow almost palpable. 

But there was something about that glow. It was like looking at a star through mist. It wasn't at its full brightness, but dimmed down. Something... Something was holding this man back.

I was surprised by the fact that he was quite tall. Not as tall as me at my 190 cm, but whereas I had imagined him as short, Madara was probably only ten centimetres shorter than me.

"Welcome", I said, opening the door wide for him to step in. I wore a shirt that I had rolled up to my elbow, and I saw Madara eye the tattoos I had there; a full sleeve on the left depicting a spine with spikes winding its way up, and some small tattoos on my right. "I've set it all up for us."

The studio was surrounded by white-painted wooden walls, and I had decided to use it as a backdrop as it would look lovely with Madara's hair. After I had set up my screens, I believed the lightning was perfect.

"Coffee? Tea?"

"I'm fine, thank you", he said shyly.

"Please. Sit down on this chair."

He did. He looked lovely in a cardigan and a necklace with a locket.

"I'm sorry", he said. "I didn't know what to wear. I should have asked you."

"Madara", I said, and he jerked at the intimacy of me saying his name. "You look perfect."

He blushed and looked down.

And that was when I saw it, and my heart sank. On his left ring finger was a ring; a beautiful band with a diamond indented in it. Taken, then. For some reason, that made me want to cry.

"Let's begin", I said, trying to sound neutral. I noticed he was nervous, and tried to adjust my own aura accordingly, despite the cornucopia of emotions in my head. "I will guide you through the photos. Remember this is not an examination. We're just getting to know each other, okay? My camera is getting to know your face. Is it okay of I touch your face?" 

He nodded, and I put my finger to his chin and turned it. His chin was smooth and dry, and he shivered beneath my touch.

"I'm nervous", he whispered.

"I know", I murmured back. "Just tell me whenever you need a break. I know my colleague has a great stack of chocolate biscuits somewhere."

That made him smile, and I turned his head slightly to catch the light.

I backed off and picked up my camera.

"Relax your chin. Smile if you want to. Only if you're happy." That actually made him smile, and I snapped some photos. Madara jerked at the sound. "Sorry. I know this big boy is noisy. Now, turn your side to me, chin down. Good."

I guided him very slowly and softly, sometimes with my voice, sometimes with my hand, and he followed my every command as if he were water. I took picture after picture of him, looking at my screen during. I couldn't look at him. if I did, I would succumb. If I did, I would drown. There was no sound in the room except for my soft guiding and the shutter of my camera closing.

It was a mellow-paced and calm procedure, yet there was nothing calm about the atmosphere. Ut was like there was a silent thunder storm raging around us. But I wondered if it was of the sort that was only discernible to me.

"Are you married or engaged?" I asked.

I didn't know what made me dare to ask. I didn't look at him, just kept snapping photos. Actually, I got some spectacular frames when his face changed in surprise at my question.

He looked down then with a blush. His demeanour changed so much that I stopped taking pictures and looked at him.

"Just engaged", he said, and he suddenly put his hands beneath his thighs so he was sitting on his fingers, as if he wanted to hide the ring from me. Or was he trying to hide it from himself?

"Congratulations", I said.

"Oh, it's nothing."

Not 'Thank you'. But 'It's nothing.' He's unhappy.

"Sorry", I said. "I didn't need to pry. Madara, I think we're done here."

"Can I... See the pictures?"

I smiled at him, collected my hair and tied it back with a hair band. I saw Madara's Adam's apple move up and down as he swallowed, eying up my arms up as I was fixing my hair. It made me incredibly satisfied. If he's taken, I might as well boost my own ego a little, I thought sarcastically; I was far too soft to think like that seriously. 

"I usually don't let the subjects see the photos until they're edited. But seeing my subjects have all been buildings  they rarely ask me." I blinked and Madara smiled. "I can make an exception for you."

I walked to him and bent down so I could show him the pictures as he was sitting. He leaned forwards...

And then, he leaned his chin on my shoulder.

I didn't move, just let him rest there, but my heart had started pounding. I had seen him as very timid and shy, almost fragile, yet here he was leaning against me as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

As I started to show him the photos, he gasped.

"God, I have always been told I'm ugly. But these..."

"Who told you you're ugly, Madara?" I asked, but I kept scrolling through the photos and didn't move. "Because you're beautiful."

"You made me feel beautiful. Thank you."

Even if I was happy he said this, I couldn't help but notice he was avoiding my question. 

I kept showing him the portraits, and as Madara got more and more comfortable during our session, the photos became better and better. It was amazing watching him realise he was beautiful as I showed him picture after picture. It was a privilege for me to witness, and I felt incredibly lucky.

At one point, he became so excited that he grabbed hold of my hands, thanking me profusely.

"I'm the one who should thank you", I said warmly.

In the doorway, he hesitated. But then, he hugged me.

"Bye", he whispered. "And thank you."

I placed my arms around him so that one hand was resting on his head and pressed it to my shoulder.

"You're so very welcome."

He didn't let go for a couple more seconds than what could have been normal for a hug between mere friends.