Sobriety || Kellic Fanfic

Chapter 1

It’s hard, sitting there, broken, not to go get a drink. When your parents are alcoholics who had kids too young and a failed marriage, you do everything in your power to avoid turning out like them.

Kellin wasn’t telling me anything. He barely even left his room anymore. I always left food outside his door, knocking to let him know it was there, but it was rarely eaten. I didn’t know what was wrong, so I didn’t know how to help him.

A knock on my door saved me from drowning in my thoughts.

“Vic?” He murmured from outside the door, catching my breath in my throat.

“Come in, love.” The door slowly cracked open, revealing Kellin.

“I’m really tired.” He sighed. “I can’t sleep without you.” He stumbled over to me, burying his face in my shoulder.

“I never said you couldn’t sleep with me.” I chuckled sadly. Did I do something to make him avoid me? Was he upset with me?

A sudden worrisome realization washed over me.

“Kellin?” He glanced at me curiously. “Have… Have you been drinking?” He took a step back, completely baffled. “I’m sorry, stupid question.” I chuckled nervously.

“Fair question, I suppose. I haven’t been, though, I promise. I just miss you”

“Again, I never told you you couldn’t sleep with me. You’re always welcome here.” He nodded sadly and draped his freshly bandaged arms over my shoulders. My eyes widened upon the sight and realization of what he did to himself. “Kell…? What are these?”

“I’m sorry, I’m in a really bad place right now and I promise to tell you in the morning, but…” He releases an exasperated sigh. “I’m really, really tired.” I guided him to bed, letting him curl into my arms. My mind was too loud to fall asleep as quickly as he had. Had Kellin cut himself? What was he not telling me? How come I didn’t try to help him?

I woke up to see Kellin sitting at the end of the bed, presumably thinking. I crawled across the bed to sit beside him.

“Good morning, Kells.” I smiled.

“Morning.” He was playing with his fingers, visibly on edge. “Is it too early to tell you?” My mind travelled to my discovery last night.

“Of course not. You can tell me anything, anytime.” He took a deep breath before beginning, giving me time to mentally prepare myself.

”I was hiding from you because I didn’t want to worry you. It’s clear you’re going through stuff right now, and I didn’t want to make it worse” He sighed.

“Oh Kells…” I muttered, Sure, I was going through some mental stuff, but it was never so much that I couldn’t support the love of my life. “I can always listen to you. So tell me, Kellin… What’s wrong?”

He sighed.

“I’m stuck. Stuck in an endless loop of sadness, a bottomless pit of despair. It’s getting to be a lot. Not too much, but a lot. I just… I don’t know how to help myself without the alcohol, I can’t start drinking again, Vic.” Tears began to form in his eyes as his hand squeezed mine.