adopted by deh cast

chapter one.

I'm in New York. Cool. I'm in New York alone, with nothing. Not cool.
It isn't like I haven't been here before, I have. But I was young and stupid. Now I'm just stupid.

I've been wandering for the past twenty minutes. The motel I was staying at kicked me out, so here I am. It's like Naked and Afraid. Only less naked and more "holyshithelphelphelp." So it's basically the same thing.

I need to make money, wait hell to money I jeed a place to stay. But I need money to do that, what if I starve? What if I-

Dahlia Nicole Mortimer. Shut up.
This is fine. They'll come back. Right?
Ha. No they won't.
So what til then?

Okay. Make someone think I'm insane and then take me to a shelter. Could get me canceled, and it is extremely not okay.
But like I said, I'm stupid.
Oh yeah, and an amputee.
So people automatically feel sympathy for you. I should probably just focus on money. I can go from there. Food is more important than shelter.

Game plan set, here we go.
Wait. Where do I go? I'm being theatrical, so theatres, maybe? I could find a theatre, psh. Let me ask.
I see a man, he could tell me.
"Um, I'm sorry, excuse me, sir?" He steps back, shit. I scared him. "Could you show me where the theatres ate so I can act like a fool to get myself some cash?" Oh fuck me. Well, there goes my plan. He looks at me, with a moderate level of concern. "Uh, yeah kid just take the F, two stops" he says, oddly kindly.

"Okay, thank you" I practically sprint to the subway station. Well, given that this is life or death, I actually do.
I get off and see marquees. Thank god.

Okay, okay. Which theatre? Dude it doesn't matter.

I stop at a random theatre. Am I really doing this?
I guess I am.

"YANKEE DOODLE WENT TO TOWN. RIDING ON A PONY, STUCK A NOODLE IN HIS HAT-"

"AND CALLED IT MACARONI"

Somebody joined me in singing.
I turn, I see a man, he's hella tall. And he's smiling at me? The hell. Weirdo.

"So I've drawn a crowd" I chuckle, nervously.

"You have" he looks at me. I look back at him. We both start lauging for some reason.

"Well, Yankee Doodle. I need to get to work, and you're blocking the door. Also it's pretty late, you should be getting home, kid-"

"Heh, I don't have one"

"Pardon?"

"Oh, um, funny story. I don't have a home, or family, at least here, they're in Boston, I'm here alone. They left me. Have you ever seen that one Alvin and the Chipmunks movie? It's like that."

He blinks. And the world stops.
I just told him everything.

"I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't of done that and I'm still blocking the door. I'm sorry."

"Kid, you need a place for the night?"

"Huh?"

"What's your name?"

"Dahlia. Dahlia Mortimer."

"And you're telling the truth?"

"I pass out when I lie, and I'm still standing."

"Oh-okay. Hold on a second." He gets on his phone and calls someone. They talk for what seems like years then he hangs up the phone.

"Well, Yankee Doodle. Is it okay if you come with me?"

"Hell yeah."

"You're still blocking the door"

"Shit."

A/N. Here we go.