Abrupt Angels

5| Affirmations

AMARA

"So, when is this Halloween party that y'all want to drag me to?" I rolled my eyes in the midst of slapping JJ's hand away from my plate. He won't stop stealing my fries.

     Today, Sunday, the boys invited me out to lunch. At first I didn't want to go, however they agreed to pay for my food. After an offer like that, how could I say no? Free food and some laughs always sounds good to me.

"It's on Friday, AK. I thought I told you this." he reached for another fry but before he could get it I slapped his hand away. God help me, I'm going to strangle him.

"Yo, you can't share with a brother?" JJ looked offended.

"Shut up and eat your food, JJ."

    I've got to admit. Even though these boys are pains in my ass 90% of the time, it's been nice hanging out with them for these past couple of weeks. It's been nice to have more friends. I'm suddenly grateful that they needed someone to invite to that party that day and they chose me.

"So, what's the word on costumes?" Luke asked, taking a sip of his iced tea. Chris and I shrugged but JJ had something to say. Of course.

"You know, I was thinkin' we could all be Power-rangers or some shit." the boy said with excitement, earning an eye roll from me and a head shake from Luke.

"I am not dressing as a damn power-ranger, JJ. Be so for real." I said.

"Cmon' AK, you could be the pink one." I simply rolled my eyes at him while holding in a laugh.

"I'll be a power-ranger." Chris blurted out making the three of us laugh before calling the waitress over for the check.

•••

    After having lunch with the boys I decided to invite Hazel over. I invited Hailey over but she declined. She had already had plans with a new guy she met at some party. This seems to be routine for her now. Although Hailey and I won't be hanging out today, we will be on Halloween. We've decided to dress up as Cher and Dionne from "Clueless."

    However, Hazel and I are doing a ghost photoshoot. The idea of it seems funny, but it's been trending lately. One thing about Hazel is that she loves trends. She loves trends from any time period as well. I'm pretty sure she was dressed like Aaliyah for our entire freshman year.

    After brushing my curls back into a low bun, I changed my outfit. Almost each time I do my hair, memories from my childhood pile up. Memories of my mom teaching me to love my hair and to love myself

    It was the night before my first day of third grade. I'd been stressing about what to wear for the entire week and I was even more stressed about what I was going to do with my hair.

    I hated my hair.

    I hated how it curled and how fluffy it was while most of my friends' hair laid flat and looked what others considered to be presentable. I felt as if I could never look pristine. My hair was a burden to me.

    I hated the way it was long when my mom occasionally straightened it, but water seemed to make it shrink back up again.

    I simply despised it. I felt ugly and less than anyone who didn't have hair like mine. Growing up, I didn't have as much visual representation of girls who looked like me which caused me to think I had to look a certain way and I didn't fit into the societal box like the other girls.

    My mom walked into my room where I'd been slouched over on the ground, upset about my hair. At this point I turned away each and every hairstyle she had offered to do for me leaving me with my hair undone.